Mr Rurouni Kenshin Contest
by chieripot
Summary: [Chap. 14 UP!] It's Hiko and Kenshin's turn! And they sing it out like ...Shaggy! The Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest TTS continues! R&R please.
1. Bishounen kidnapping in Tokyo

Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest  
  
By Anime no Miko  
  
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~  
  
-- Bishounen 'kidnapping' in Tokyo --  
  
Everyone's favorite (and non so favorite) RK bishounen were summoned by the all mighty Anime no Miko and registered in the first "Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest" to be held right here. Some bishies accepted right away; others put on a little resistance. However, Anime no Miko had her way at the end, as always.  
  
With ...  
  
--------------------  
  
.~*~. Himura Kenshin, Tokyo .~*~.  
  
Reporter: "Anime no Miko-sama, did you have any trouble with Himura-san?"  
  
AnM: "Not really. I would say Kenshin was one of the least problematic."  
  
Reporter: "Really?"  
  
AnM: "Hai."  
  
Rep: "Do you mind sharing the encounter with us?"  
  
AnM: "Not at all. Let's see ... I'ld say it was my lucky day. I caught our (more mine) oro-man on his everyday doing-laundry ritual ALONE.  
  
Rep: "Wow! Alone? Quite unfamiliar, wasn't it?"  
  
AnM: "Yeah ... quite unfamiliar, but otherwise highly convenient."  
  
Rep: "Please tell us, Anime no Miko-sama."  
  
AnM: "You see. Strangely enough, Ayame and Suzume were nowhere to be seen, which I was glad for (don't misunderstand me, I like them, but 'kidnapping' Kenshin when he is playing with the girls wouldn't be nice, would it?), and Kaoru and Yahiko went on an outdoor training instead of the habitual dojo training. And about Sanosuke, well ... umm.... it was past breakfast time ... and not yet lunch time ..umm .. so Sano was not around. This left Kenshin to concentrate solely on the laundry (now how much concentration it might be needed for that, I dunno ¬.¬ ') and here is where I stepped in ...  
  
Flashback   
  
Long bangs swung back as the red-haired rurouni tilted up the face directing his gaze to the sky. A bright smile spread across his effeminate features and his eyes curved into a half moon shape complementing his serene face. Bringing his right hand to the face, he brushed away the sweat falling down his temple. It was a sunny day, the perfect time to wash and dry clothes. He had filled the washtub with water and threw into some blankets. Kenshin had been washing clothes 'manually' in the rudimentary way for nearly two years now. He liked to do it, there was no question about it, but more than often he secretly wondered if there was another way of doing the laundry. The rurouni sighed. He was getting tired of monotomy. Aside from the hard fights he had to fight against pop- up egotistic and psychopath enemies now and then, his life as a rurouni was consecrated to the backyard with soap, water and washtub in hand. No human was born with the likes for routine, and our (more mine ... just in case you've forgot) patient Kenshin was not the exception. He thought of Yutaro who was in Germany. Perhaps the boy knew about new 'techniques' for doing the laundry. Kenshin reasoned for a few minutes and decided to write him a letter. He need not to spend yens he did not have in sending the letter to inquire about laundry 'techinques' because the solution went to him.  
  
AnM: "Do you need any help with the laundry?"  
  
Kenshin: "..."  
  
AnM: "Kenshin, have you ever thought of participating in a contest?"  
  
Kenshin: "Oro?"  
  
AnM: "You know, Kenshin, a c-o-n-t-e-s-t, where lot of participants meet and compete before a large audience for a prize or title, or both. They are graded by judges and the participant with the highest score wins. You following me?"  
  
Kenshin: "Hai, Anime no Miko - dono."  
  
AnM: "So, have you?"  
  
Kenshin: "Iee. Gomen, AnM-dono."  
  
AnM: "Kenshin, don't you ever get tired of addressing everyone with '- dono'??!!! I mean...it's so..so...(Kenshin-like?) Hai!! Arrghhh!! It's sooo much like you!"  
  
Kenshin: "Oro.." *this girl is weird, just as Misao-dono* (Misao: "Hey!! I heard you, Himura!")  
  
AnM: "Ahh....nevermind...Were was I? Oh yes, so..would you like to participate in the first Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest, eh Kenshin?"  
  
Kenshin: "I don't think I can. Gomen, I still have more laundry to do."  
  
AnM: "Laundry, laundry, laundry. Is laundry written in your genes or what?! Bet you dream about detergents and softeners, don't you?"  
  
Kenshin: *is clueless*  
  
AnM: "Gomen. I was carried away. Kenshin, I really need you. (forward, am I not? ^^) I'm a weakling (you never heard me say this!) in need of your protection in this new era, blahh blahh blahh -- and on with the well- known ex-battousai discourse -- (feedback time!)"  
  
Kenshin: "I swear I'll help you as much as I can, AnM-dono."  
  
AnM: "By the way, I can get you a washing machine, if you are interested."  
  
Kenshin: "A washing ma-chine??"  
  
AnM: "Hai, Kenshin. It's err...let's say it's one the most innovative 'laundry techinque' avalaible, for the public that is."  
  
Kenshin: "Let's go. There's no time to waste!"  
  
End of Flashback   
  
Reporter: "Just like that? No questioning on the whereabouts of the contest?"  
  
AnM: "Not even one."  
  
Rep: "So if one wishes to get to Kenshin, inventing a more advanced washing machine or a new laundry 'technique' would do?"  
  
AnM: "It seems so, ne?"  
  
Rep: "Take notes, Kenshin fans!"  
  
  
  
.~*~. Sagara Sanosuke, Tokyo .~*~.  
  
Rep: " ... easy with Sagara-san?"  
  
AnM: "Half adulation, half bribery and I had Sanosuke in my hands ... er..contest."  
  
Rep: "That sounds interesting. Continue, onegai."  
  
AnM: "I followed him and ... "  
  
Flashback   
  
Today was not Sagara Sanosuke's day. He had lost ten in a row playing dice and was now yenless (did I just make up that word? ^^), not to mention hungry like a rooster? The Akabeko was full so he couldn't have his habitual free-loaded meal as he would have liked, and the fox lady was as strange as ever. The ex-gangster mopped the streets of Tokyo with leisurely pace. His spiky brown hair remained imperturbed by the flowing breeze contrasting with the dancing ends of his red headband. Hands inside his white trousers, Sanosuke groaned. He was bored, utterly bored. Sano cracked his knuckles in desperation, he wanted to kick some asses.  
  
Sano: "Whoever you are, come out here so I can kick your ass for dare stalking the great Sagara Sanouske!"  
  
AnM: "Maaa maa. I expected a warmer greeting from such a handsome and strong young man as yourself."  
  
Sano: 'handsome and strong, that's me' "Gomen, I thought it was some baka who wanted to be beaten up like a pulp." 'yeah, give her one of your sexy smiles, Sagara'  
  
AnM: "Nevermind, Sanosuke. I am AnM and I would like to have your illustrous presence in my contest, the first Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest."  
  
Sano: 'How the hell does she know my name? Baka! You were the one who shouted it aloud.' "AnM, the first Mr. what?"  
  
AnM: "Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest, Sano. I'm inviting only the most gorgeous bishounen."  
  
Sano: "And I'm at the top of the list, am I not?"  
  
AnM: "Err..." 'caught offguard, great!' "Heheh ... That's not important. You know, the grand winner will get a generous sum, which means money for food, geishas, bets --- "  
  
Sano: "That settles it. Show me the way, airashii AnM." 'You go, Sagara!! She's blushing.'  
  
End of Flashback   
  
AnM: "... Sano's such a charmer. He made me, the all mighty AnM, blush the whole way back. I think he'll do great in the contest."  
  
Reporter: "I'm sure there's no disagreement in that. So, Sano was the second to be summoned."  
  
AnM: "Yeah...I was in Tokyo, so why not go fetch all the bishounen there."  
  
Rep: "Myojin-chan included?"  
  
AnM: "Well...that's tough to answer. I wasn't all that sure about taking Yahiko. I mean, the boy wouldn't have any chances against Kenshin or Sano, don't you agree? BUT, I couldn't possibly leave him out of the contest. He's a bishie, a small bishie, but a bishie after all. It was a dilemma, but this great mind of mine (no hurt in some self-adulation, ne? ^^ ) promptly came up with the perfect solution. I decided to include an interlude contest between Yahiko and you guess it, bingo! Yutaro!"  
  
Rep: "Marvelous! So, you are bringing to us the outcome of the unfinished 'fight' between Myojin-chan and Tsukayama-chan."  
  
AnM: "More likely."  
  
  
  
.~*~. Myojin Yahiko, Tokyo .~*~.  
  
Rep: "... while he was training outdoors with Kamiya-san?"  
  
AnM: "You must be joking! First, I try to avoid as much as possible any encounter with Kaoru for reasons I'm not wasting time in explain. Second, all this 'kidnapping' had to be done se-cre-tive-ly."  
  
Rep: "When and how then?"  
  
AnM: "I waited the next day. Yahiko went to the Akabeko to help Tsubame and Tae and, as you already know from Sanosuke's, the restaurant was full..FULL, and extra hands were most welcomed."  
  
Rep: "Pray continue."  
  
AnM: "Well, I followed Yahiko and found him do --- "  
  
Flashback   
  
Washing dishes? The boy sighed. A pile of dirty dishes rested to his right, on the floor where he was squatted washing dishes. His heart had almost jumped out of his chest when the messenger boy came running to the dojo and told Yahiko that Tsubame needed him urgently. At first Yahiko had thought Tsubame was in danger, but being assured by the boy that wasn't the case, he let his mind float along with his heart. Perhaps..perhaps Tsubame had taken a decision on his proposal to be his girlfriend. 'Meet me in the backyard, at the Akabeko.' Those were her words, 'in the backyard.' A light but not unnoticed blush crossed the boy's features. So shy Tsubame wanted a secretive meeting with him , a-lone. Maybe they would even kiss. He blushed some more. But poor Yahiko was taken aback when he was greeted by Tsubame with an apron in hand and a pile of dirty dishes. "Arigato for coming, Yahiko-kun. Tae says you can start over with these dishes." The boy wasn't listening. He was mentally kicking himself for being such a baka, but it took one smile from Tsubame and Yahiko forgot it all. "Hai, Tsubame-chan. It's always a pleasure." And that's how it all started. He sighed in exasperation.  
  
AnM: "Never knew washing dishes was your hobby, Yahiko-san."  
  
Yahiko: "Who are you calling -chan?!!! Don't call me -- 'flashback: ... Yahiko-SAN' "  
  
AnM: "Gomen, I would call you -chan if you wish. However, I must say you are a child no more, Yahiko-ch---"  
  
Yahiko: "Ie..-san it's fine, just fine. 'she said I'm not a child, and I am not'  
  
AnM: "Very well, Yahiko. So, is this your hobby? Washing dishes, I mean."  
  
Yahiko: "Iee..I'm just helping Tae-san and Tsubame. There's lotta movement today in the Akabeko, as you can see. But who are you, anyway?"  
  
AnM: "Ohh gomen, silly me, haven't introduce myself. I am AnM, the all mighty AnM. And I was wondering, Yahiko, if you would like participate in a contest."  
  
Yahiko: "A bamboo-sword fight contest?!! Sure!!! I, Myojin Yahiko, will win the contest as the #1 student of the Kamiya-Kasshin Dojo. When? Where???"  
  
AnM: *sweat drops* "Ie, Yahiko. Not a bamboo-sword fight contest, not at all."  
  
Yahiko: "Hmm..."  
  
AnM: "However, you'll have the opportunity to compete against Yutaro so that we can know who is the best."  
  
Yahiko: "Great!! I accept ... Wait AnM, err ... what about the dishes?"  
  
AnM: "You have nothing to worry about, Yahiko. I already talked with Tae and Tsubame. Let's go!"  
  
Yahiko: "Hai!" 'Wait for me, Yutaro!! I'll kick your ass. Myojin Yahiko is way much better than you, friend!"  
  
End of Flashback  
  
Reporter: "So in Tokyo you got Himura-san, Sagara-san, and Yahiko-chan. Were they the only bishounen to 'kidnap' in Tokyo?"  
  
AnM: "Hmm... Ie.. I also had to go to prison."  
  
Rep: "Prison?!!"  
  
  
  
.~*~. Okubo Tetsuma, Tokyo .~*~.  
  
AnM: "Hai. I went for Okubo Tetsuma."  
  
Rep: "Okubo-san? The name rings some bells in my head, but I'm not sure."  
  
AnM: "He only appeared in three episodes, it's understandable. Tetsuma's the man who fought Kenshin with fencing. He made his first appearance in episode 79. Remember? All that stuff about the pacific evacuation of the Edo castle, you know."  
  
Rep: "Hai..hai..know I remember. Okubo Tetsuma. Short brown hair with bangs falling forward all over his forehead?"  
  
AnM: "The very one. He was still in prison paying for his crimes. Taking him out for one day was relatively easy. A bunch of yens and I bought his liberty for one day."  
  
Rep: "That does it with the police, but what about Okubo-san? Did he not object?"  
  
AnM: "Oh he did! I just told him Katsu Kaishu approved of his participation in the contest."  
  
Rep: "That's great, but AnM, don't you think it's kind of unfair with Okubo-san? I mean, he isn't all that popular, you know?"  
  
AnM: "Hai, hai. I'm conscious of that, but he is a bishie. It's not Tetsuma's fault that Watsuki-sensei showed him only in three chapters, is it? I have to go now, some preparations still have to be done for the contest."  
  
Rep: "OK. Arigato gozaimasu, Anime no Miko-sama."  
  
--------------------  
  
... And this was how Kenshin, Sanosuke, Yahiko, and Tetsuma from Tokyo, ended up as participants in the contest.  
  
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~  
  
How was it?? It sucks, ne? (expected answer: "Iee. AnM. I liked it very much!! ^^ lol) Next chapter is recruiting in Kyoto!! Yayyy!! Ja-ne!! 


	2. Bishounen kidnapping in Kyoto

Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest  
  
By Anime no Miko  
  
-----//----//----//------  
  
Willow -- Hai, Shougo is one of them. Do you think I would leave such a bishie outta this?? ^^  
  
amakasu toko -- I wouldn't leave Sou-chan out of this. For nothin' in this world! Okita? a bishie, I agree. hehehe ^_^ ... Don't worry, I'll bring him too.  
  
kalios, DiaBLo, Azzusa-chan -- Arigatou for R&R ^_^  
  
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~  
  
-- Bishounen 'kidnapping' in Kyoto --  
  
On her journey to recruit all the RK bishies for the contest, AnM first stopped at Tokyo recruiting Kenshin, Sanosuke, Yahiko, and Testuma. She recruited and sent them one by one to the contest place. Each bishie to his own dressing room. Everything was on the march until AnM was about to left for Kyoto and noticed she had forgotten a bishie, Tsukioka Tsunan, Sanosuke's friend. But thanks kami-sama Tsunan accepted right away to participate in the contest. He was all excited about meeting AnM's recruits in Kyoto ...  
  
--------------------  
  
.~*~. Shinomori Aoshi, Kyoto .~*~.  
  
Aoshi sat in solitude in the temple. Alone he could meditate, deal with his inner demons. He couldn't help thinking of his dead friends who died protecting him. Beshimi, Shikijo, Hyotoko, Hannya. Dead because of his selfishness. His desire to hold the title of the strongest had blinded him and fed up his soul with negative feelings. He sought revenge when what he really needed was peace. And his thrist for revenge would have ended up in a major disaster if Battousai, no, if Himura Kenshin hadn't knocked some sense into his confused mind. Kenshin took him back to the Oniwabanshu, to his family, and to her. Back to Misao. He should be grateful to Kenshin, and he was. Yet he wasn't content. Wanting the title of the strongest had been absurd. But he wouldn't fight against Himura again. He had given up his kodachi. Aoshi had given up fighting and didn't have the most minimun intention to fight again, ever. So, what was it that kept Aoshi from being satisfied with the life he now lead? He found out during one his endless meditations. Aoshi felt his honor, or what was left of it, was at stake. Ever since he had come back to the Aoiya after the battle with Shishio, Aoshi had regarded himself unworthy of everyone and everything that surrounded him. Kanryu had made a fool of him, Kenshin had defeated him in battle, and he couldn't do anything against Shishio. And nothing would change that. Aoshi didn't show, but that really frustrated him. He thought the situation was hopeless, until the opportunity to prove his worthiness came to him ...  
  
AnM: "Mind if we have tea together?"  
  
Aoshi: "Who are you?"  
  
AnM: "How rude. You don't know the great Anime no Miko?!"  
  
Aoshi: "Anime no Miko?"  
  
AnM: "Don't look at me like that, Aoshi. I come in peace. Now, can we drink the tea before it gets cold?"  
  
Aoshi: "How do you know me? What do you want?"  
  
AnM: "I'll be precise, Aoshi. I want to take you as a participant in my contest. As to your first question, EVERYONE knows you. You are one of the most popular bishies in the whole RK cast. Every girl drools at the perfect sight you make!! Gosh, are you that blind?!"  
  
Aoshi: "Nani?"  
  
AnM: "Nevermind. Ahem. As I was saying, I would like to count on your participation in my contest."  
  
Aoshi: "Gomen, but I have no intentions whatsoever to participate in any contest."  
  
AnM: "Not even in the first Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest?"  
  
Aoshi: "Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest?"  
  
AnM: "Hai."  
  
Aoshi: "Is Himura participating too?"  
  
AnM: "Of course he is. Kenshin was the first I invited."  
  
Aoshi: "..."  
  
AnM: "And I must say he was very confident in winning the title."  
  
Aoshi: "..."  
  
AnM: "Aoshi? Aoshi?!! Are you listening to me?!!"  
  
Aoshi: "Aaa."  
  
AnM: "Are you coming then?"  
  
Aoshi: "Iie."  
  
AnM: ' Dammit, Aoshi! You are hard to convince, and I still have to find some other bishies. '  
  
Aoshi: "AnM."  
  
AnM: "Hai, Aoshi?"  
  
Aoshi: "Do you think I have any chances of defeating Himura?"  
  
AnM: "I thought you swore to never take a sword in your hands again, Aoshi."  
  
Aoshi: "I was referring to your contest."  
  
AnM: "Ohhh! You kidding, Aoshi? Any?!! You have LOTTA chance of winning the contest!!"  
  
Aoshi: "Is it so?"  
  
AnM: "Hai. As true as you are one of my favorite bishies."  
  
Aoshi: "Bishie?"  
  
AnM: "Hehehe...Nevermind."  
  
Aoshi: "Hmm.. Shall we go now?"  
  
AnM: "Thought you'ld never say it. Let's go!"  
  
  
  
.~*~. Seijuro Hiko, Kyoto .~*~.  
  
"Dammit! Why does Hiko have to live so faraway? And I have to carry this sake like a mule all the way up!! Darn this mountain! Darn this heat!"  
  
As she made her way up the mountain, muttering curses "under her breath," AnM could distinguish a familiar silhouette in the distance. Long hair, body the muscular very muscular type, tall, arrogant, (A/N: Oopps! guess that can't possibly be seen at distance, or can it? ^_~) wearing a mantle with outstanding neck. Seijuro Hiko, the 13th Master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu Style. He was standing outside his hut working on his pottery under a fiery sun. Who would have tell it? Seijuro Hiko earned his living as a pottery craftsman, and his workmanship was by the way, very well respected in the surroundings. 'In the surroundings,' there laid the problem. Practically, if not everyone in the locality were well provided with Hiko's potteries. Vases, pots, bowls, plates, in short, the essentials, and even some figurines. Hiko was getting short of market, and the price of sake was not declining nor was his amount of sake drinking. It was time for internalization. Sweating and without any energy left, AnM reached her destiny.  
  
AnM: "Oi -- Seijuro -- Hiko. You -- are -- at -- home?"  
  
Hiko: "I'm rarely elsewhere. 'Rarely' would change to 'never' though, if a pretty lady with a generous share of sake comes to visit me everyday, like today. And the lady is?"  
  
AnM: "Anime no Miko. It's a pleasure to meet you, Hiko-sensei. A gift, I brought you the best sake ever made."  
  
Hiko: "Arigatou, AnM. You know my tastes very well, and my name as well. Quite famous, am I? The least to be expected from such great looks and ingenuity I was bestowed with, ne?" *teeth smile*  
  
AnM: (blinks) 'I swear they shone.'  
  
Hiko: "AnM?"  
  
AnM: 'I swear his teeth shone.'  
  
Hiko: "Hummm ... This sake is delicious, arigatou-gozaimasu. I was longing for this."  
  
AnM: "Nani? Ahh, hehe.. It was nothing, Hiko-sensei. It's good you liked it."  
  
Hiko: "So, what brings you here besides wanting to see my great looks and bringing me sake? You must have other motives. Tell me, go ahead."  
  
AnM: "Oh I do, Hiko-sensei. I'm glad you asked. I want you to participate in the first Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest. And before you ask, hai, your baka deshi is participating. In fact, he's already there."  
  
Hiko: "Who said I was going to ask that? I already knew that. What I want to know is if there's going to be free first-class sake. Is there?"  
  
AnM: (falls back anime style.. A/N: not really, Hiko's question was expected ^_~) "Plenty of it."  
  
Hiko: "Yoroshii. Ladies first, please." ' Kami-sama has noticed me, finally. Not only will I get to internationalize my name, and my pottery, but I'll also get free sake and the chance to humiliate my baka deshi. He thinks that because he has finally mastered the Amakakeru Ryuno Hirameki, he has got nothing more to learn. That baka still needs a lesson or two in coolness and great looks. '  
  
AnM: "Arigatou, Hiko-sensei." 'Wonder if there's another way down. At least gravity will make it easier.'  
  
--------------------  
  
So Anime no Miko've got Aoshi and Hiko, Kyoto major bishies to participate in her contest. Her day couldn't get better, ne? Unortunately, it could get bad, and it did. She has forgotten certain wicked expert kickass police officer in Tokyo! Fujita Goro, better known as Saitou Hajime. A self-irritated AnM went back to Tokyo after Saitou, hoping she hasn't forgotten any bishie in Kyoto.  
  
.~*~. Saitou Hajime, Kyoto .~*~.  
  
Saitou Hajime sat behind an overcrowded desk. Towers of papers and documents lay on his office desk concealing his upper figure except for his head, which was slightly bent down, narrow golden eyes scrutining the paper on which his left hand rested. A cigarette pressed between the fingers of his right hand.  
  
"Sir, there's a lady outside who wants to see you."  
  
Saitou lifted his head. Drawing his right hand closer, he brought the cigarette to his thin lips smoking some more before talking.  
  
"Do I know her? Does she have an appointment? No? Well, escort her out. I'm busy. Time is precious, and mine is more."  
  
"Sir, she says it's urgent."  
  
"Urgent? Hmm ... Was she abused? Beaten? Did she witness a crime? Well?"  
  
"Iie. None of the situations you mentioned, Sir."  
  
"Officer, get rid of her now. Unless you rather have that lady watch while I kick your ass for your negligence. Officer?"  
  
Saitou arched his eyebrow subtly and talked in even voice, yet the officer knew Saitou meant what he said.  
  
"Hai, Sir!"  
  
-,-,-,-,-,-  
  
"Sir, she wouldn't leave. Her name is Anime no Miko, and she says you'd better stop being bitchy and mind her presence, or otherwise she'll show you bitchy."  
  
'She'll show me bitchy? Hah.' Saitou smirked.  
  
"Ahh, she also mentioned a name ... Saitou Haj--"  
  
He stiffened somewhat. But just for barely a second. "Let her in." 'Interesting lady.' he thought, regaining his carefree actitude.  
  
-,-,-,-,-,-  
  
AnM: "About time you let me in, Saitou."  
  
Saitou: "Anime no Miko, isn't it? I see you know me perfectly. I think it would be only fair if I know you as well. Have a sit, please."  
  
AnM: "I'll go to the point, Saitou. You must come with me and participate in the Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest."  
  
Saitou: "Pardon?"  
  
AnM: "A contest. Kenshin, Sanosuke, Aoshi, Hiko ... they are all coming. I need your presence as well. Not only as a participant, but as a measure of order. I know you still live under the Shisen-gumi code of Aku Soku Zan."  
  
Saitou: "Aku Soku Zan."  
  
AnM: "Hai. Now Saitou, can I count on you?"  
  
Saitou: "This contest looks interesting. Guess I'll be joining as well." His golden were glowing, and his thin lips twisted into his unmistakable smirk.  
  
As they headed outside, Saitou exhanged some words with his second officer in command.  
  
"I'm going with this lady. Take care of everything in my absence."  
  
"But Sir, we have an important case to take care of."  
  
"Not as important /and interesting/ as this one, officer. Believe me."  
  
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~  
  
All this 'kidnapping' is taking longer than planned (Hey, it's not my fault Watsuki-sensei came up with all this bishies!!). Hopefully, I'll be done with this in the following/s chapter/s (plural meaning two chappies, which is more likely). 'Til next chapter. Ja-ne! (Wait, did you leave your review?? ^_^ ) 


	3. Bishounen kidnapping Elsewhere?

Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest  
  
By Anime no Miko  
  
-----//----//----//------  
  
Gomen minna-san for not updating soon. I was (and still am ^_^;;) a lil' busy with the beginning of the fall semester ... but who cares! ^_^;; Guess what?? A friend went to Japan and brought me a RK manga!! (ty Eduardo!! A/N: not that he reads this stuff -fanfics- but anyways)*dances around* Yay!!!  
  
Aishiteru -- Hai. Of course Captain Sagara is in!! I lovee him!! Ohh Tetsuma isn't that bad for not being a Watsuki-sensei's creation, ne?  
  
Deis-V -- Those bishies are MINE!! OAV's characters? yea..bishies, but if I include 'em I'll never get started with the contest! ^_^;;  
  
raya -- there's sou-chan!!! *grabs soujiro* here, take pics!  
  
Kara Seta -- "God help sanosuke" lol, u r mean! Sano's not THAT bad, is he? ^_~  
  
hinoto-hime -- glad u liked it! XD  
  
amakasu toko -- lol, u ok? I'll get someone to take care of you. Who do u prefer? Okita or Soujiro? ^_^  
  
Luce -- "written very well" -- really?? *hugs* Arigatou!!! Swimsuit contest? Of course! That and MUCH more! *winks*  
  
Boxerdogluver -- yup...too much time recruitin' ...gomen!  
  
Tiian -- *nods* too many bishies to choose one, ne?  
  
Minna-san, Arigatou for reviewing!! It means a lot. *gives away RK plushies*  
  
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~  
  
-- Bishounen 'kidnapping' elsewhere in Japan --  
  
Before leaving for Europe, AnM had to wander Japan like hell in search of everyone's fave smiling Tenken, Seta Soujiro. It took her quite an effort and time to find him as she had to make an inhuman and almost impossible attempt to stalk a Tenken no Soujiro traveling all over Japan with his trademark god-like speed. Nevertheless, all the energy, money (money? AnM: "Hai! What? Did you think I need not to eat and sleep? Unfortunately, AnM is human." *sighs*), and time expended is worth the bishie, ne?  
  
Our reporter caught AnM during her lunch break and she revealed everything about Soujiro's 'kidnapping' ...  
  
--------------------  
  
.~*~. Seta Soujiro, somewhere down a road in Japan .~*~.  
  
Reporter: "Excuse-me, AnM-sama. Can you grant us another interview?"  
  
AnM: "Hai. I'ld be glad to answer any questions you may have. You don't have much time though. Lunch-break will be over soon."  
  
Rep: 'Isn't she the boss? Oh well, nevermind. Better get started with the interview.' "Arigatou. AnM-sama, I suppose you have noticed how many Seta- san fans there are."  
  
AnM: "Of course, Soujiro is quite famous among RK fans. It was a must to have him in the contest."  
  
Rep: "I absolutely agree. But, AnM, if I'm not mistaken, after being defeated by Himura-san, Seta-san went on a trip around all Japan in search for his truth. Can you tell us how did you manage to find him?"  
  
AnM: "It's a long story, you see ..."  
  
Flashback   
  
Wandering around Japan was easy. Distance or time represented no trouble for Soujiro and his shuku-chi. In a couple of weeks or even days, he could have have walked all Japan if so he wanted. Sometimes he did, but doing so is not the greatest thing to do when one has to look for something, and specially if that something is abstract as the truth Soujiro had to look for. Yes, he had followed Kenshin's advice to go in search for his 'own truth,' and that represented a major problem for the Tenken. He wasn't sure aboyt what was he suppose to find. Kenshin hadn't been that generous with details during their second fight when the words of the red-haired altered his emotions bringing his mind into chaos, shattering his world, playing with his ideals and beliefs ... and giving no alternative answer to the question planted.  
  
"Himura-san is even severer than Shishio-sama. At least Shishio-sama always gave me the answer. The final answer. I didn't have to look for it or ponder about its truthfulness. Don't you agree?" Soujiro turned around directing the question to a panting AnM reclined on the trunk of a tree few meters behind. He wasn't surprised or angered to find that a complete stranger had been stalking him all the way since he left the last town. His cheery smile was still plastered on his handsome face.  
  
AnM had been following Soujiro to Nagasaki all the way from Osaka (how far apart? miles and miles, ok? ^_^) non-stop. She was tired like hell and found the time when the Tenken stopped abruptly in his tracks and seemed to absorb himself in deep thoughts, propitious to have a rest before acting. No more than one minute did she rest when she lifted her head to find Soujiro's form walking in her direction.  
  
Soujiro: "Daijoubu desu ka?"  
  
AnM: "Hai. I'm alright ... tired but alive. Arigatou."  
  
Soujiro: *smiles, I mean, continues smiling (lol)* "Since you are apparently going the same way as I am (aka. stalking ^_~), may I ask who are you?"  
  
AnM: "Sure, Soujiro. I'm AnM. Never heard of me?"  
  
Soujiro: "Iie. Gomen. But, how do you know my name, heh?" (A/N: be it implied that Soujiro is smiling the whole time, k?)  
  
AnM: "Err... I met ..mm..Kenshin, oh yea Kenshin! Hehehe.. I met him and he told me about you."  
  
Soujiro: "Himura-san told you about me?"  
  
AnM: "Hai, Himura Kenshin. Didn't he tell you? That Kenshin! How ungrateful! You know, I helped him find his truth while he was wandering. To guide ex-assasins through their transition to pacifist rurouni is my err..duty. Yeah, that's my duty."  
  
Soujiro: "It's strange. Himura-san told me I had to find the truth by myself."  
  
AnM: "I shoud have expected something like that. Wait 'til I get my hands on that ingrate! Argghhh!"  
  
Soujiro: "Hehehehe ... Poor Himura-san ... Anou, AnM can you help me then? I'ld appreciate that very much."  
  
AnM: "Of course I can help you. And I will, Soujiro. But first, you have to pass a test."  
  
Soujiro: "A test?? How so?"  
  
AnM: "It's quite simple, my dear Soujiro. You have to participate in my contest, the first Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest."  
  
Soujiro: "What's that, AnM?"  
  
AnM: "I'll explain later. Don't worry, it's nothing bad." *smiles maliciously, inwardly* 'Yeaa...nothing bad, just a swinsuit modeling session before thousands of crazy fangirls ^_~ @ Luce.'  
  
Soujiro: *eyes AnM suspiciously* "What's exactly 'nothing bad,' AnM?"  
  
AnM: "No swords. No killing. No deaths. Nothing bad, ne?"  
  
Soujiro: "Oh, is that so?"  
  
AnM: *nods anxiosuly* "So, what do you say?"  
  
Soujiro: "I've wandered for more than one year now but haven't found anything. This isn't easy, so if Himura-san accepted your help, guess I'ld too." *smiles brightly*  
  
AnM: "Very well, Soujiro. I'm sure you won't regret it."  
  
Soujiro: "So I hope, hehehe."  
  
AnM: "... Sou-chan?"  
  
Soujiro: "Hai, AnM?"  
  
AnM: "errr...can you use your shuku-chi for two?"  
  
End of Flashback   
  
Rep: "So, Seta-san carried you all the way back?"  
  
AnM: "Hai, it was fantastic! We 'walked' past people and they couldn't see us. It was just sooo magnificient and exciting...yeaaa, and fast!"  
  
Rep: "I don't doubt it.. Seta-san's speed ability is astounishing."  
  
AnM: *nods*  
  
Rep: "AnM, you didn't really help Himura-san back then. You lied to Seta- san."  
  
AnM: "Sssshhhh! *whispers* He doesn't know, and must not know at least 'til the contest starts, ok? If he learns I lied, he won't trust me anymore, and hence, he'ld leave the contest."  
  
Rep: "Lie? You never lie, AnM. *winks* Tell us, so after this you left for Europe?"  
  
AnM: *winks back* "Iie. I went to the Village of Lost Souls."  
  
Rep: "You mean Yukishiro-san is in as well? Marvelous! How did you get him to accept, AnM? It must have been very complicated considering we are talking about a psychopath, ne?"  
  
AnM: "Ex-psychopath ... "  
  
Flashback  
  
  
  
.~*~. Yukishiro Enishi, Village of Lost Souls .~*~.  
  
Enishi stood in front of his sister's grave. "Oneesan, I told Himura I forgave him, and I did, or at least so I tried to. Are you happy now? Would you smile for me again?" *speaking to the air* "Please?" He kneeled and put down some flowers, her favourites, white plums. "For you." *smiles - at Tomoe's smiling ghost?* His eyes got wide. He blinked once. Twice. No, he wasn't daydreaming. Tomoe was standing there, right before him ... and she even was smiling!  
  
"Neesan," Enishi said reaching out for her (the air ^_~), "I knew you'ld like them. White plums, good and pure like you." His hand clasped nothing but air. Enishi backed in confusion. So, he WAS daydreaming after all. Right, has he gone nuts or what? Of course it couldn't be Tomoe. She was dead; Himura Kenshin had killed her! Enishi made a swift movement to take his sword. "Dammit! Where the hell is my sword?! No matter what I'll avenge your death, neesan." 'Revenge. Himura. Kill. Revenge. Himura. Kill.' Those three words were repeating in his mind in interminable cycles. The disturbed young man tightened the grip on the tilt of his sword (which one? an imaginary one, duhhh! ^^) and turned around.  
  
Enishi: *looks all insane-like* "Who are you? Get out of my way!"  
  
AnM: "Thought you'ld be here, Enishi."  
  
AnM had gone to the house where Enishi was staying at the Village of Lost Souls, but was told that Enishi had left two days or so before. Where could he be? In the Kamiya Doujo? Nah... In Kyoto, at the Aoiya having tea with Shinomori Aoshi and being molested by an hyperactive Weasel girl (A/N: dun' misunderstand, Misao's my fave female character, next to Tomoe ...what? Kaoru? Who's that? hahahahaa)? Definitely no, besides he hardly knew those two. Visiting Seijuro Hiko and getting yelled at, not that he would allow though, for not bringing any gift (a.k.a sake)? Out of question. Then who else was there to visit in Kyoto? Family perhaps? That's more likely. Wait, but Enishi's family consisted solely of one person, his sister. His death sister, Yukishiro Tomoe, the woman that taught love and happiness to Battousai. Bingo! Enishi was in Kyoto, visiting his sister's grave! This reasoning on the whereabouts of Enishi took AnM few seconds. That long because she was you know...tired from stalking Soujiro!  
  
Enishi: "Who are you? Where are you from that you dress so weird?  
  
AnM: *Lol@Enishi* "Weird? Me? Look at your clothes and look at those of the people around. You are the one out of place! (A/N: dun' misunderstand, I looovvveee *everything* about Enishi, clothes included. His clothing rules! Ne?)  
  
Enishi: "I'ld prefer to say I'm original."  
  
AnM: *nods* "You've style. Really, congrats!"  
  
Enishi: "Arigatou!" *forgetting about his 'new-called revenge'*  
  
AnM: *smiles* "I'm AnM, Enishi. I've learned that you have been a little bit...er..what's the word?...er..depressed, yea...that you've been depressed lately, is that so?"  
  
Enishi: "Hai, it is. Plus I am insane."  
  
AnM: *faking surprise* "Huh?"  
  
Enishi: "Yeah, insane. I already was but reading my sister's diary screwed up my mind even more." AnM (faking) step backwards. "Don't worry. I'm an stable psychopath. Right, neesan? (turning to the grave or the ghost? again)"  
  
AnM: *sweat drops* "ehehehhe" *sweat drops* "Eh, Enishi, I'm having this contest you know, the first Mr. Rurouni Kenshin, and with that style of yours, I thought of you at once. Would you like to be a participant?"  
  
Enishi: "What Mr. what? A contest? I don't think I--"  
  
AnM: "Please??" *looking like Tomoe in Enishi's mind*  
  
Enishi: "Neesan?"  
  
AnM: "C'mon Enishi. Please??"  
  
----- Enishi's imagination -----  
  
Tomoe: *smiling no more* "You are bad, Enishi. Go participate in the contest, AnM is inviting you."  
  
Enishi: "Demo..."  
  
Tomoe: "Are you denying me this petition?"  
  
Enishi: "Iie...I'll go, and I'll win for you, neesan."  
  
Tomoe: "I know you will, otouto. Go Enishi.")  
  
----- Back to reality (of flashback) -----  
  
AnM: "Enishi??? Are you in there?" *waves a hand before his eyes*  
  
Enishi: "H-Hai. Hai. Hai!"  
  
AnM: "...geez...no need to yell. Just making sure you was O.K."  
  
Enishi: "Gomen. I meant, Hai! I'm going to participate in the contest."  
  
AnM: "What if I don't want now?" *gets killed by Enishi fangirls, lol!* "I mean, I think we can risk having a psychopath in. I'ld be...mm...too dangerous."  
  
Enishi: "Who are you calling psychopath?! I'm perfectly stable!" *takes out his invisible sword*  
  
AnM: *sweat drops, a big drop* "Nevermind, let's go then!"  
  
End of Flashback   
  
Rep: "Ex-psychopath?"  
  
AnM: "hehehe ... SEMI ex-psychopath is better, ne?"  
  
Rep: *sweat drops* "AnM-sama, so after that you --"  
  
The bell signaling the end of lunch break rings once, twice .... continues ringing!  
  
AnM: "Gomen!! I have to go now!!" *speaking louder, walks off*  
  
Rep: "Ohhh! It's alright. Arigatou-gozaimasu!!!"  
  
AnM waves back.  
  
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~  
  
Next chappie. Europe finally!! plus surprising visit to other worlds...yea...hell and heaven?! Review pls!! Ja-ne! .^_^. 


	4. YOU! The Bishies Meet

Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest  
  
By Anime no Miko  
  
-----//----//----//------  
  
I don't feel like writin' the "kidnapping" of the rest bishies ... I'm just getting a little too impatient with the contest myself, ain't u?  
  
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~  
  
-- "You??!!," The Bishies Met --  
  
It took AnM more or less three days and a half to recruit everyone's favorite (and non so favorite) bishies to participate in the first Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest. She arranged it so that the preparations for the event (the hall, scenario, and its decoration; the lights, cameras, giant tv screens, and all high-tech machinery needed; the security, press and more security; etc...) be finished, or at least in advanced progress upon her return. And in these preparations AnM did not scrimp in expenses. Only the best for the best (bishounen). Isn't it so? However, even though AnM was fairly solvent, the total expenses exceeded her budget. So broke was she that when some Tokyo police officers came to take Tetsuma back, AnM had no money left to buy Tetsuma's liberty for more days. (A/N: *hugs* sowwiee Testuma!)  
  
Thankfully he was the only bishounen who had to leave. Kenshin, Sanosuke, Yahiko, Aoshi, Hiko, Saitou, Soujiro and Enishi stayed, and Shougo, Shozo (AN/: ya know who's he, right? No?! *faints* Ya remember the guy with short black hair who who was with Magdalia/Sayo when she first met Sano during the Shimbara Arc? Well, that's Shozo, a bishie!! ne?), Yutaro, Captain Sagara, Shishio and Okita (A/N: yes, dead bishies too!! Don't forget AnM is all mighty! ^^ -- I mean, a broken all mighty miko now ^_^U) joined them. They were recruited individually, sent individually to the contest place, kept separately in a designed room ... In other words, they didn't know who were the other participants, leave alone, know they were acquaintances with each others. Knowing these bishies and their personalities, it's quite easy to imagine what happened when AnM reunited them face to face with each other to explain the mechanics of the game ...  
  
"Oi Kenshin!" Sanosuke greeted Kenshin showing no surprise in finding the redhaired man there. "What's up?"  
  
"Sano?" was all the Kenshin could say. He knew Sanosuke would glue to him and accompany him in whichever fight he had to fight, with or without his consent. If he had to fight, the fact of Sanosuke coming along was implied. But this? Man, this was a contest! And not a fighting (in the proper sense of the word, that's it) contest he could tell, for if that were the case, why would AnM-dono sent a tailor to take his measurements? He liked Sanosuke's company, he was his friend after all. But what Kenshin didn't want was to have any witness in his participation in the contest. Why he wasn't sure, but he had a feeling, a bad feeling about the contest. (perhaps the idea of modeling in swimsuit before crazy fangirls? lol) He sighed. He knew Sanosuke would go nowhere. Sanosuke broke into his thoughts.  
  
"Ah you came to give me cheers? Arigatou but that won't be necessary Kenshin, I have this contest in the pocket already." the young man said with confidence, grinning and patting one pocket of his trousers in a gesture. Kenshin blinked, surprised with the turn of events, but just for a moment. He smiled at his tall friend. If Sano was participating too, that would increase the possiblities of winning the contest, and therefore the washing machine AnM told him about. He beamed with delight.  
  
"Iie Sano, it's not so. I came to participate in the contest, that I came for. I want this wachi--" he couldn't finish because Sanosuke bursted out in uncontrollable laughter. Kenshin stared at him asking what was so funny about him wanting a washing machine, if Sano knew what was that of course.  
  
"Gomen, Kenshin. Friend, it's just that this contest is a kind of beauty contest. The judges won't choose someone short, nor fragile looking, nor effemina--" Kenshin glared. *coughs* "Besides Kenshin, I don't think Kaoru would like to know that you are participating in this kind of contest. She's of the jealous type."  
  
"OroOroroo"  
  
At this moment a happy Yahiko stepped in with a giant chocolate ice cream with sugared cone, in hand. "Ahh! This IS life!" he sang and gave his cone another bite. Sanosuke looked at him, his eyes fixed on the strange "thing" Yahiko was eating. "Kiddo, what are you doing here? What's that thing you are eating, eh?" he asked with interest, his eyes still fixed on the ice cream, and walked towards the boy. "I'm not a kid!! I'm a MAN!" Yahiko screamed loud enough to bring Kenshin out from his oro-state.  
  
"Yahiko? Where's Kaoru-dono? Don't tell me she's here with you, is she?" the rurouni asked nervously. "Oi Kenshin. Iie, jou-chan is ... where? I don't know Kenshin." the dark-skinned boy told a relieved Kenshin, and Sanosuke taking advantage of the boy's momentary distraction, made a swift move and snatched the ice cream cone from Yahiko's hand. "Hey rooster, give me back my ice cream!!!!!!!!! AnM gave it to me! Go get your own!!" the boy bellowed and tried to get his precious ice cream back. "Maa Maaa, calm down. It's just a ... It's just some food." Kenshin interfered.  
  
This was how Aoshi found them when he came into the meeting room. "Baka" he muttered and sat quietly as far as possible from the trio, who, except for Kenshin, hadn't noticed his presence. Aoshi closed his eyes and tried to meditate on how he was to defeat Kenshin in the contest. Where was AnM? She had to explain them how was the contest going to be conducted, and from this point on, was from where Aoshi would plan his moves. He snapped his eyes open. Two people were coming. One was Saitou, and the other? He couldn't tell the other, but his ki was enormous. Kenshin shuddered. Seijuro Hiko was there, and with none other than Saitou. Things couldn't get worse for Kenshin. Saitou was the first to speak.  
  
"Battousai, we meet again. However, I must admit I never thought it would be in these circumstances, or in a contest, to be more precise." he lied.  
  
"Saitou ... I'm Kenshin, not Battousai." the red haired reminded the police officer, who just smirked. "Aa, Shinomori. You're here too. This would be a lovely evening." Aoshi said nothing but looked interested in the big muscled man drinking a bottle of sake and standing at the entrance. That had to be Hiko Seijuro, the 13th master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu sword-fighting style, Kenshin's sensei.  
  
"I want more ice cream. That was delicious!!" said Sanosuke licking his lips, Yahiko trying to assest an strike on his rooster head wit his bamboo sword. "Oi Saitou. Don't you have work to do?" said Sanosuke coming nearer. Saitou lighted up another imported cigarette. It was his tenth in the day. "I thought animals were not admitted in this area." Saitou said in a serious tone exhaling rings of smoke. "What animals, huh?" asked Sanosuke scanning the room. Yahiko rolled on the floor laughing. "You baka!!! You're the rooster!" Saitou looked down at the boy. "Great, stupid kiddos and roosters all around. This is annoying." "HEY!!! Who are you calling annoying???!!!" Sanosuke and Yahiko growled in unison. Aoshi's ears hurt. And he thought nothing or no one could be noiser than Misao! Not that he didn't like Misao's enlivened and cheery attitude, on the contrary, he enjoyed it very much even though he didn't show. But this, this was a headache!!  
  
Hiko put down his huge sake bottle. It was time for his hobby. He cleared his throat forcing Kenshin to acknowledge his presence. "Sensei." the short man bowed. "Where's my gift? Did you at least bring me some sake this time?" was the answer Kenshin got from his sensei. "Why would I?" Kenshin retorted. "I didn't know you were coming, and besides this is not even your place." "You're just too stingy." Hiko stated bluntly. Aoshi looked up and Saitou, still pestered by Sanosuke and Yahiko, raised an eyebrow. Kenshin's head popped out and his eyebrows drew closer, his eye twitching (A/N: try to picture that funny face Kenshin made when he visited Hiko the first time in the anime. You remember it? lol, funny, ne?). Hiko rolled his eyes. *taking out a pail from gods know where* "Go bring water." Hiko said throwing Kenshin the pail. Too bad Kenshin was still cursing inwardly for having such a mean sensei. The pail hit him on the head, leaving him momentarily @_@. "Not only has you grew stupider but also slower?" Hiko scoffed. Kenshin stood and picked up the pail. Saitou smiled maliciously, he was enjoying this. He already liked Hiko.  
  
"Aa Himura-san, it's good to see you. I need to ask you something." said a cheery voice catching everyone's attention. Hiko eyed Soujiro with interest. 'So this is the boy who nearly defeated Kenshin with his shukuchi, Tenken no Soujiro. Interesting.' "Soujiro-dono, it's good to see you too." Kenshin said sincerely. Aoshi glared at Soujiro, the boy shrugged. "Himura-san, Shishio-sama says his logic of life 'the strong lives, the weak dies' is the only truth and that you were just trying to play with my mind with your cheap-psychology of life. I'm utterly confused, heh." the Tenken said still smiling. "Shishio SAYS?????" Sanosuke, Kenshin, Saitou, and Aoshi, without noticing, said in unison. "Kenshin, you killed Shishio back then, didn't you?" Yahiko asked confused. Kenshin nodded and Sanosuke exploded into laughter. "Geezz Soujiro, don't scare me to death. For once I thought Shishio was back from hell."  
  
"Oh but I am!" said a sinister voice from behind. "Shishio!!" the rest of the guys couldn't believe their eyes.  
  
"Yes guys, Shishio's back." AnM walked in with Okita, Captain Sagara, Yutaro, Shougo, and Shozo following behind. "As well as Okita and Captain Sagara. I brought them back from death." Sanosuke and Saitou turned their head towards the door, and Okita and Captain Sagara smiled at them. "Captain Sagara!!" Sanosuke cried out and hugged (A/N: not "yaoi-shly." pls, ppl!) the man he admired so much. "Sanosuke, I'm happy to see you again." Captain Sagara told him fatherly. "Oi Saitou, are you not happy to see me alive, at least for the contest?" a smiling Okita asked Saitou bringing him back from his stupor. "Iie, Okita. It's good to see you again, boy."  
  
"You must be Shougo Amakusa." Hiko said addressing Shougo. Shougo nodded slowly and bowed, recognizing by instinct it can be say, who was the big man in cape. They started talking about all the events in Shimbara (Arc), and Hiko got to the conclusion that Shougo would have been a better disciple than his baka deshi, had it not been for his constant talkings about Christianity (A/N: no offense *ish Christian herself!*). Shozo greeted Sanosuke and they started remembering Sayo, Shozo beginning with his Saint Magdalia stuff.  
  
"Himura-san, were you really playing with my mind? I haven't found the truth you told me about. Shishio-sama must be right." Soujiro questioned Kenshin again, who couldn't answer because he was having a major headache. Yutaro and Yahiko has just started fighting each other and Kenshin got hit on the head with with two bamboo swords when he tried to interfere. "I thought we had given Yutaro a bamboo sword, not an iron bar." he managed to mutter before going all @_@ again! "Soujiro, come here. Don't waste your time with Battousai. He's a loser." "Take that back!!" the two boys glared at Shishio. Poor Aoshi, his head felt like hell.  
  
"Guys!" AnM shouted trying to catch their attention. They didn't hear, and if they did, they chose to ignore her. Bad choice. AnM took out a loudspeaker "EVERYONE GET THEIR ASS ON A CHAIR NOW!!" The room went silent and the bishies stared at her. She blushed furiously. "Can you PLEASE behave?" She looked at Enishi who sat quietly on a chair, like a good boy. "And they say Enishi is the psychopath." she sighed. "Enishi????!!!!!!!!!!" everyone who had met him before stared at the white haired man in awe. "Who's Enishi, huh?" the once-death bishies asked. "Oh my, here we go again!" AnM shook her head and took an aspirin.  
  
One hour later...  
  
AnM had somehow managed to silence the room, and finally began to inform the guys of the contest ... which was not an easier task either ...  
  
AnM: " ... and when every single of you signed the contract, you agreed on participating in the the contest, from the start to the very end of it when the bishiest of all will be crowned as Mr. Rurouni Kenshin."  
  
Shishio: "Why is it called Mr. Rurouni Kenshin? I don't want to be crowned as Mr. Rurouni Kenshin. I'm Shishio. That's ridiculous!"  
  
All bishies, except Kenshin, nodded agreeingly. Kenshin shuddered.  
  
AnM: "The contest is named Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest because that's the name of the anime/manga and that's where you bishies are all from! Does that answer your question, Shishio?"  
  
Shishio didn't answer. He was still processing the word anime in his bandaged head. Soujiro raised his hand.  
  
AnM: "Hai, Sou-chan?" *smiles*  
  
Soujiro: "AnM, gomen, but..what's a bishie? Shishio-sama never told me about bishies, nor has Himura-san."  
  
Yahiko: "Is that comestible?"  
  
AnM: *sweat drops* "Iie, Yahiko. Bishies are ... mmm... er.. you are the bishies."  
  
Everyone: *?????*  
  
AnM: *sighs* "Let's just say bishie is everyone participating in this contest, O.K.?" They nodded. "Good, as I was saying, you had agree upon signing the contract, to do whatever the contest requires you to do, including putting on the clothes (or taking off?? ^_~) you are asked to."  
  
Aoshi didn't like this part. It seemed Shougo neither cause he was the next to interrupt AnM.  
  
Shougo: "AnM, what kind of clothes are we talking about? I can't w---"  
  
AnM: "Don't worry, Shougo. All these clothes are permitted by the church. Wearing them isn't going to break any commandment or constitue a sin." Shougo sighed in relief, the rest shrugged.  
  
Saitou: "Back to the issue, can we?"  
  
Hiko: "I need another bottle of sake, AnM. Can my baka deshi go look for it?"  
  
Kenshin: "Youu--!!"  
  
AnM: "Don't start over again, please. Let me finish. Hiko, after this I promise I'll get you ten bottle of sake."  
  
Hiko: "Arigatou, AnM. Kenshin, you should learn from her."  
  
Sanosuke: "AnM, can you give me one of those you gave Yahiko? Ice - something..."  
  
Yahiko: "Ice cream, dumb!"  
  
AnM: "I will, I will!!!!!!! Now PLEASE, can you all stayed quiet for a second??!"  
  
Enishi: "I'm behaving good, oneesan." The rest looked at him but averted their eyes when Enishi glared back.  
  
AnM: "...and this are the mechanics of the contest ..."  
  
-----//----//----//------  
  
I'll give you a cookie with the shape of any RK bishie you want if you review ^_^  
  
The next chapter is author notes explaining how is the contest going to develop, and listing of some contest I thought about. Suggestions are most welcomed! 


	5. Mechanics of the Contest

Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest  
  
By Anime no Miko  
  
-----//----//----//------  
  
I'm not very fond of author's notes chapters . but I have no choice. I need to say/ask what proceeds somehow, and in the simpliest and fastest way possible. So I guess this is okay, or would you rather have me take "forever" (*quotes toko* 'AnM: ...I took forever getting them here!!') explaining that? ^_~  
  
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~  
  
-- Mechanics of the Contest - Author's Notes --  
  
Hi Minna-san!  
  
As all of you already know, this fic consists in a contest to choose the bishiest of all the RK bishies. So far the bishies invited are *heart eyes, drools* Kenshin, Sanosuke, Yahiko, Tsunan (Sano's friend!), Aoshi, Hiko, Saitou, Soujiro, Enishi, Shougo, Shozo, Yutaro, Shishio, Okita, and Captain Sagara. Fifteen bishies in total, two (Yahiko and Yutaro) competing against each other in an interlude contest, and thirteen (the rest) competing for the title in the 'main contest' and the others . Why? (I already explained but just in case someone has forgotten ...) Well, picture this. Kenshin and Yahiko/Yutaro. *in less than a millisecond* Kenshin chosen! Ba-bai Yahiko/Yutaro! ^ ^;;(What?! Haven't chosen yet? *reaches for reader's forehead* You sick or somethin'? Need eyeglasses?)  
  
For those who have read all the chappies, *hands bishies cookies* have you ever wondered who the judges for the contest would be? Hai? Iie? In either case, I won't tell you! lol@me. Iie, AnM is not that mean. Let's put it this way. I cannot tell 'cause guessing their (the judges') indentities is part of the fun! *smacks herself on the head* But now, you probably already know who they are, am I not right? *nods* Those very you are thinking of, they are the ones. ^^  
  
Reader: "Go to the point...where are you trying to reach, AnM?"  
  
AnM: "Meanie!" *snatches back all the bishies cookies*  
  
Reader: *starts walking off*  
  
AnM: "Hey, wait! Don't leave!!! If you leave who's gonna read my fic then?"  
  
Reader: *ignores AnM screams*  
  
AnM: "Gomen, gomen... *hands the cookies back* I'll get to the point fast, promise. Stay, please." *puppy eyes*  
  
Reader: *takes the cookies happily* "Okay..."  
  
Where was I? Ah yes! The judges. I was thinking it would be nicer if I have you (readers) as a member of the jury, what do you say? I mean, the original judges (equal to AnM since she's the one who writes the fic? ^_~) would do just fine alone, but it would be better, as to save disagreements or a traumatized x-bishie-fan due to the election of a winner for x- category, if bishounen fans (besides me) have voice in this, wouldn't it? How to do it? Why, through reviews of course! (A/N: "You get to vote for your fave bishie and I get the vote ... *lowers voice* plus some reviews more, hehehe. ^^). That settles it for the jury.  
  
The contest will be divided in categories, pretty much like all the beauty contests and every contest in general. Each bishie will receive certain number of points according to their "performance" in the sub-contest, and at the end, chances are that the one with more points will be crowned as Mr. Rurouni Kenshin!! And minna, if you have any idea of what'ld be a good sub-contest (like the swimsuit one *winks at Luce*), please feel free to tell me! ^__^  
  
That was it, minna. Arigatou for reading! Ja!  
  
Yours truly,  
  
Anime no Miko Organizer of Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest ^^  
  
  
  
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~  
  
*hurries to upload this, and hurries back to finish Chapter 5* 


	6. Bishies, Smile Your Best!

**Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest**

By Anime no Miko

-----/----/----/------

Disclaimer: Even though AnM sings better than Tomo Sakurai and can probably beat T.M Revolution, The Yellow Monkeys or Le'ArcEn Ciel (and etc.) in a hand to hand RK acapela singing (jokin', you guys rock! I do pretty well though, hey I try! -;;), she does not own a single chord/note/lyric. Romanji Lyrics and translations taken from Smile Your Best! --

AnM had the explanatory meeting with the bishies. And after that ... Sanosuke and Yahiko fought over another ice cream, with Yutaro joining. Hiko made Kenshin fetch a pail with water while he drank the promised ten bottles of sake. Shougo and Shozo prayed the rosary twice, one for Sayo. Aoshi took a tablet of extra strong aspirins before going back to his temple-style-redocorated room to meditate. Captain Sagara fixed his head to his body and planned the Sekihoutai's revenge against the Meiji government. Saitou smoke his second package of cigarettes and Okita, standing next to him, coughed for the hundredth time, some blood included. Tsunan pestered Shishio with an interview, and Shishio tried brainwashing Soujiro into his 'the strong lives, the weak dies'philosophy again. Enishi talked with Tomoe's ghost trying to make her smile again. And Soujiro, he smiled the whole time.

Finally after a few extenous practices, the day of the contest arrived ...

Studio crowded. Lights and camera on ...!

.. On stage, Judy and Mary play 'Sobakasu' ..

Daikirai datta sobakasu wo chotto

Hitonadeshite tame iki wo hitotsu

Hebi ikkyuu no koi wa migoto ni

Kakuzatou to isshoni toketa

Mae yori mo motto yaseta mune ni chotto

"Chiku" tto sasaru toge ga itai

Hoshiuranai mo ate ni naranai wa

_I touched those hated freckles lightly and sighed,_

_My "heavy class" love has dissolved clearly_

_Just like a sugarcube._

_The thorn stuck in my thin breast went in further_

_And hurt much more than before._

_Astrology didn't predict that at all _

AnM goes crazy and joins Judy and Mary on stage, and there she remained 'cause she's the host -. Audience accompanies.

Motto touku made isshoni yuketara nee

Ureshikute sore dakede

_I wished we could go together farther,_

_It would be joyful enough to..._

Omoi de wa itsumo kirei dakedo

Sore dake ja onaka ga suku wa

Honto wa setsunai yoru nanoni

Doushite kashira? Ano hito no egao mo omoi dasenai no

_Memories are always beautiful,_

_But with only that you can't live._

_Tonight should be a really sad night,_

_But why? Actually I can't remember his smiling face_

RK bishies walk out onto stage at AnM's signal. Fangirls go crazy jumping up and down and throw every kind of gifts imaginable. O.o The judges fume at this but the fangirls got even wilder. Security staff has to intervene.

Omoi de wa itsumo kirei dakedo

Sore dake ja onaka ga suku no

Honto wa setsunai yoru nanoni

Doushite kashira? Ano hito no namida mo omoi dasenai no?

Omoidasenai no

Doushitenano?

_Memories are always beautiful,_

_But with only that you can't live._

_It was a really tough night_

_I wonder why though? Why can't I remember that person's tears?_

_I can't remember,_

_Why can't I?_

Euphoria in the studio. Judy and Mary bow, AnM thanks them, and they leave. The white smoke clears up and the RK bishies appear again. More screaming and drooling from the fangirls, and more fuming from the judges. AnM puts order ...

AnM: "Welcome, RK devote fans! Arigatou-gozaimasu for coming! I'm AnM, your host for this first Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest. ovation! hey, it is the almighty AnM here! To my left, behind this glass (like those they have in the police stations where suspects of a crime stand for identification) the pannel of judges, the bunch of guys responsible for choosing our bishiest RK bishie! applauds And to my right drums our fifteen bishies!"

The bishies salute (some are forced to -;;), each one in his manner, and audience goes heart-eyes drooling.

AnM: "Ahem. Let's get started with the first sub-contest in which we'll choose the bishie with the sexiest smile! But of course, the eyes play a major role too! Grading scale of ten, judges." puts on special glasses and sees the them nod behind the screen

The bishies walk into backstage. audience whistles, throwing more _gifts_ at the bishies

AnM: "Guys, one come out please."

.. Backstage or behind the curtais ..

Saitou: "Rooster, you go first."

Sanosuke: really not minding, but not liking Saitou's imperative tone "With what right are you ordering me around? You bastard."

Saitou: takes cigarette from his mouth "With the right I have for being able to kick that sick ass of you whenever I feel like."

Sanosuke growls, hands fisted. Saitou motions for his sword.

Kenshin: intervening "Maa..Maa Sano, Saitou, calm down. Decide who goes out first, but without fighting."

Sanosuke: "This is none of your business, Kenshin!"

.. On stage ..

One minute passes and nobody comes out. Audience gets impatient and threatening. AnM gulps down.

AnM: "Guys? Someone come put know !"

.. Backstage or behind the curtais ..

Hiko: clears his throat, the rest looks at him "I was wondering, why don't Kenshin go out first? After all, the contest is named like my baka-desshi." the rest, minus Kenshin, goes all "o" like and agrees

Kenshin: "Wait...Minna-dono. I don't think this is a good idea, that I think. Why don't we---"

Shishio: "Oh it is!" pushes Kenshin out onto stage

.. On stage ..

AnM: sighs in relief "Good boy, Kenshin. Now, smile us your sexiest smile." winks

Kenshin: "Oro.." _'Whats's sexy? Battousai: 'I'll take care of this, you baka-self of me. Kenshin: 'Iie, I shouldn't let you out!' Battousai: 'You want to win or not?' Kenshin: 'Hai...demo---' _Battousai takes possesion of Kenshin's body

AnM: whispers to Kenshin "Kenshin, like you practiced, remember?"

Kenshin/Battousai-mode: "I needed no practice. Let me fix this first." unties his hair and ties it in a high ponytail, looks up with amber assasin's eyes when done, tears off Kenshin's old pink gi, unawarely revealing a good amount of flesh before bishie-eating piranhas "I hate pink! Where's my dark blue gi?"

Judge #2 gasps in fear, #11 salutes Ken-battou (short for Kenshin/Battousai-mode from now on ) and smiles, #5 looks very intrigued in the Battousai-mode, and the rest goes eyes wide. The boldest fangirls in the audience, shouts demanding streaptease!

AnM: red rising to her cheeks, coughs "Err...Kenshin dear, as much as I'ld like to, this is not the sub-contest for streaptease yet. You'ld have to wait for that."

Ken-battou: "Oro?" (A/N: lol! Battousai can also be found clueless!") "I want my dark blue

gi."

#11 hands AnM Battousai's dark blue gi, and AnM hands it to him, who puts it on hurridely, having noticed the hungry looks in the thousands of fangirls in the studio.

AnM: "Ahem ... Now that we are all coughs properly dressed coughs Kenshin, please show us your sexiest smile."

Cameras take a close-up, Ken-battou's image is projected on the big screen. Ken-battou's fans cheers. AnM hols her breath. Expectation's in the air. And Ken-battou smiles his best ...

Fans sighs, dreamy looks all around.

AnM: "Any questions, jury? Iie? Alright, let's see what you've got, Kenshin."

#1: giggling excessingly girlish like "Not 10 because he isn't as sexy as my Shishio-sama, but a 9 for the Battousai's effort, and his taste for blood."

#2: still gasping, know almost crying too "Kenshin, Kenshin, come back. sobs What have you done to Kenshin? sobs"

AnM: "Judge #2, how many points you give him? Please. no answer If you are not telling when I count three, I'll take that as a zero. One ... more sobs Two ... more 'bring Kenshin back ...

Ken-battou: glares "That's not fair. Quit sobbing and give me my points before I start cutting off heads!"

AnM: "And three! ... Gomen, Kenshin dear, no points from judge #2 for you." Ken-battou growls.

#3: "Ohohoo! 10, Ken-san is the best, Battousai or not."

#4: "Hmmm... he's not blond. His eyes are not blue, but because we're grading his smile, and he did more than good, 9."

#5: "Wowww! He looks scarier than Himura when he's mad! Sexy smile? Sexy eyes! 9!"

#6 and #7: "He's too short but since this is not the height contest, 10. He's got a devilish smile."

#8: "He looks evil and violent. That gi could have been donated to thr poor, you know. 3."

#9: "If he's Kenshin, 10. Remember my proposal for you to joining my gang is still open."

#10 and #12: #12 trying to cover blushed cheeks "#12 gives him 8, I give him the same."

#11: "10."

#12: "Breath-taking, but not fully. 8."

#13: "He's Shishio's enemym, but the boy has got such a sexy smile and eyes that I give him 9."

AnM: "Well well, our judge of honor is not here yet, so you end up with 113 points! Ken-battou walks out into backstage still glaring at #2 for not giving him any points Your turn, Sanosuke."

Almost kicked out on stage by Saitou, Sanosuke comes out chewing a ... fishbone!

AnM: "Sano, please." takes the fishbone from Sano with a handkerchief and throws it unawrely to the audience. Sano's fans starts a fight over the piece of bone.

Sanosuke: "Kuso! AnM gives him a look Alright, alright. Sexy smile, ne?"

Sano runs his hand over his spiky hair, casts a seductive look at the jury and the audience with his hazel brown eyes, and smiles sexily.

#1: "I think I'ld fall in love with him, but alas I'm in love already so 9."

#2: _'Never thought Sano was so...so...hot.'_ "er...10."

#3: _'Damn! That roosterhead does know how to seduce.'_ "10"

#4: "Not blond either, but 8."

#5: _'Wow! Roosterhead is hot! _smacks herself _What am I saying? I only have eyes for Aoshi-sama, or not? Oh my Oh my!'_

AnM: "Judge #5? Hello? One..Two...and ..."

Sanosuke: "Hey you! Wake up! AnM's counting!"

#5: "Huh? Ah three is next..."

AnM: "O.K. Three more points for you, Sano."

Sanosuka: "Baka!"

#6 and #7: "He's looks soooo sexy! sighs 10!"

AnM: _'Seems #6 and #7 will be giving 10's for all bishie.'_

#8: "Sanosuke, I'm happy we meet again. 10."

#9: "And who's this? Sexy though, 9."

#10: _'This will teach Sanosuke to pay for his meals.'_ "3 because there are little fishbones in the corner of his mouth." indeed there were

#11: _'Ridiculous.'_ "2."

#12: scarcely audible "I---I give Sagara-san te--10."

#13: "Hmm...he's a major baka. 5."

#14: "Hmm...for that baka ..er...6, I would say."

AnM: "Alright, Sano has 105 points. Not our winner, but thanks Sano. He leaves looking for a mirror 'fishbones? where?' "Tsunan, come out."

Tsunan comes out but asks to talk with AnM in private.

.. In a corner ..

AnM: "What's it, Tsunan?"

Tsunan: "AnM, I would love to continue in the contest, but I'ld prefer to cover the contest. You know, I'm a reporter right? Come on! Please?"

AnM: "Hmmm... thinks 'this is taking too long, besides Tsunan is a good reporter...' Alright, Tsunan, but just because you're asking so fervently."

Tsunan: "Arigatou-gozaimasu!" takes out his notepad and starts walking down to sit in the audience, his fans notice him!

AnM: "Err..Tsunan, that's not a good idea. Come back here. You can watch from the balcony over there." Tsunan nods, waves and goes to the balcony across the studio.

.. On stage ..

AnM: "Gomen minna-san. Tsunan has retired from the contest because he's going to cover the contest, and can't possibly do both at the same time."

AnM: "But here comes Saitou!"

Saitou walks in with another cigarette in hand. Saitou's fans throw packages of imported cigarettes onto stage.

AnM: "No smoking though, Saitou. Too many cigarettes would dyed your teeth yellow, and you are already rekilling Okita. You have no idea of how much I'm spending in his medicines."

Saitou: "Aaaa.." puts away his cigarette

AnM: "Arigatou. Smile then. No, not like that. You're smirking! Yeah...that is better, keep it up. Jury please."

#1: "Know that I look closely, he looks sexy smirking. 10."

#2: "I don't like him, er...it, 3."

#3: "His smirk is sexy, ohohohoo... 8, though."

#4: "I like those thin lips, just like someone's ...10."

#5: "He's still smirking." _'Besides I don't like the way he calls me. I'm not what he calls me!' _"5."

#6 and #7: "That smirk is sexy! 10! And see, his teeth are impecable, cigarettes do nothing to them!"

#8: "He might be 'smiling,' but his eyes has an evil glint ... 3."

#9: "Sexy smirk, good try ... 8."

#10: nods "8."

#11: _'That's better than before's'_ "5."

#12: "He--He's scary. 3."

#13: "He's got to have something for me to -- er...10."

#14: "Not bad ... 7."

AnM: "Let's see ... starts doing math ..."

Saitou: "107, not as good as Battousai, but better than Sanosuke though as always." walks out to backstage ready to remind Sanosuke just how he has to improve in order to defeat him

AnM: "uhh...yea...107 points! Kenshin's winning with 113!" looks at the audience noticing they have all taken out a pair of cool mini-rounded dark eyeglasses, as Enishi walks out "Alright Enishi, you're next!"

Enishi: "I can see my sister behind there." points to where the judges are sitting "Oneesan, are you happy? I'm participating in the contest as you asked me."

One of the judges...nods?

AnM: "Heheh...we all know, Enishi. Here. hands him his dark eyeglasses"

Enishi: to AnM now "Oneesan! You're smiling!"

AnM: "Hai, Enishi. But you have to smile sexily or I won't smile again. Did you understand?"

Enishi: "H--Hai!" puts on his dark eyeglasses, scans his surroundings a little bit lost, but smiles ... and what a smile!

#1: "Psychothic smile. giggles I love it! 10!"

#2: _'I really don't like him ... Oh but he looks ... _smacks herself _What are you thinking! _"5"

#3: "Too pyshco-like for my taste, 5."

#4: "Scary ... 3."

#5: "Yukishiro is hot, even with that psychotic smile! 9!"

#6 and #7: "10! Sexy psychotic smile!"

#8: "He looks so ... so sad. 7."

#9: "Weird look. 5."

#10: eyes closed "Hmm...Hmm...8."

#11: "10." _'Of course.'_

#12: "He--He's twice as scary. 2."

#13: "Hmm...6."

#14: "Too psycho-like, but I looveee psycho-like. 10!"

AnM: takes out a calculator "100 for you, Enishi!"

Enishi: "Oneesan, what do you want me to do now? I can kill him, if you want."

#2 and #3: "Never!"

#11: "Iie.."

AnM: "What did she say? Ah...Iie? Iie, Enishi dear. Go backstage now, I'll join you later. And tell Soujiro to come here, please."

Enishi looks at AnM, nods, and walks out not paying attention to the whistles and bold insinuations of many fangirls.

Soujiro: "I'm here, AnM." smiles

AnM: "Good! Smile sexily, Sou-chan. Like the models in the magazine I showed you, remember?"

Soujiro: "Hai. Like this, ne?" smiles very cheerily, eyes closed in half-moon shape

Audience sweat drops, jury sweat drops, AnM double sweat drops, and Soujiro continues smiling!

AnM: "Iie, Sou-chan ... Not like that. First you have to ... stands in front of Soujiro, blocking his face from the auidence and jury, and forces his eyes open yea...eyes open, the look is important Sou-chan ... now move your lips like this and this starts molding poor Soujiro's face! ... Parfait! Stay like that ..." turns around facing the audience, Soujiro's face muscles in the process of getting back to his cheery-smile state "Here it is minna-san, Soujiro's sexy smile! notices audience sweat drop

#1: "Nice try, Soujiro. Shishio-sama prefers you over me, but I'll give you 10. laughs You aren't getting much points this round." laughs

#14: "Leave the boy alone. That's him. 10."

The rest judges: "For his weird smile, we give him 50 points."

AnM looks at Soujiro. His eyes are partially open and his face is contorted in the weirdest smile. AnM is about to faint and Soujiro shrugs and walks out, Soujiro's fans protesting on the jury's decision.

AnM: "Only 70 points for Soujiro! Oh well, let's move on. Aoshi, it's your turn, come out. And please, try to smile at least."

Aoshi: "..." _'I don't smile. How am I suppose to smile sexily?'_

AnM: "Aoshi? Did you hear me?"

Aoshi: "Aaa..." _'Hope this'll do.' _according to him, smiles

AnM: "Aoshi, you aren't even smiling!"

Aoshi: _'What! That's as best as I can do. And Himura's winning ...! Let's try harder. We, Onniwabanshu are the best.' _"Aaa...Is this any better?" according to him, smiles, again

Everyone, except judge #5, sweat drops.

AnM: "Iie, Aoshi. Try harder."

#5: "What! Sexier than that, we don't have! He's the best! 10!"

Aoshi's fans: "Sexy ice blue eyes he has got! Give him all ten's"

#5: "Can I vote twice?"

AnM: "Iie... #5 gives Aoshi 10, what about the others?"

More than one murmur something like _'How on earth can I grade him if he didn't even smile!'_ Judge #5 orders out #6 and #7, who agrees on giving Aoshi ten's.

AnM: "Alright, 30 for Aoshi."

#11: "Some of us are not used to smiling ... 10."

AnM: "40. The rest?"

The rest judges: "He didn't smile, leave alone a sexy smile. His eyes were cool though, 50 points."

AnM: "Well, well, Aoshi, you get 90. Not this time, gomen. Kenshin's still to the lead! Who's next? What about you, Shishio?"

Shishio walks out very confident, threatens all the judges, and smiles his sexiest smile. Shishio's fans jumps up and down, some offer Shishio to help him put on new bandages.

#1: with heart-eyes "Ohh Shishio-sama, you take my breath away! You've got the sexiest smile of all! 10!"

#14: rolls eyes at #1 "Oh Shishio! 10!"

The rest judges: "We can't see ... he's got bandages all over his face ... er.. body too! Just 30 points this time."

AnM: "Very well, 50 points for you, Shishio. Guess Kenshin beat you again, sorry!"

Shishio: growling at the jury "Why you! You lowly weaklings! How dare you! I'm Shishio!"

AnM: "Maa maaa, Shishio. 50 is not that bad, just 63 points below Kenshin. Shishio glares errr heheheh... You're next, Hiko."

Shishio walks out cursing, planning the assasination of the the judges who gave him, the great Shishio, just 40 points because of his bandaged face, and it wasn't even his fault!

Hiko: "Live with it, Shishio. See and learn. You've got to smile like this." smiles his sexy trademark smile

Everyone's eyes turn heart-like, judges #6 and #7 the bigger.

AnM: "Did you see it, guys? His teeth shone!"

Each judge give Hiko 10 points, he ending up with 130! Dreamy sighs escape everyone's mouths when he smiled again, very seductively (A/N: and arrogantly, ne? -)

AnM: coming out of her trance "Who--Who's next? Shougo?"

.. Backstage or behind the curtais ..

Shougo: "I'm not going."

Shozo: "Yea..that's indecent. Besides, seems that he's already won."

Okita: coughs blood "I can't as much as I want to try, I'm having coughs more a cough-attack."

Captain Sagara: "That looks back. takes out some herbs and starts crushing them inside a small bowl I'll help you."

AnM excuses herself and goes backstage.

AnM: "What's going on, guys? Shougo, it's your turn."

They explain AnM their reasoning, she thinks it for a second, and nods.

.. Back on stage ..

AnM explains the situation to the fans and the jury. Shougo, Shozo, Okita, and Captain Sagara's fans starts making noises in protest. AnM promises they'll perform in the next contest, and they applaud.

AnM: "Well ... Saitou ends third with 107 points, applauds, cheers Kenshin ends second with 113, Battousai devotees make a party our Sexiest Smile Bishie is drums Hiko Seijuro!"

Hiko: "Of course, I'm the sensei. I already let my baka-desshi win back when I teach him the Amakakeru Ryu No Hirameki, wasn't going to make it easy for him this time."

AnM: "Whatever you say, Hiko ---"

Hi minna! Thanks for reading and reviewing! This was too long, ne? Gomen! I promise I'll make it shorter for the next contest, a talent time suggested by aki , with karaoke included, suggested by Chibigreen Tanuki. hands Chibigreen Tanuki her Shishio cookie

Leave a review with your opinion on Hiko as the Sexiest Smiling Bishie, and your suggestions for a winner in the talent time contest, with the performance (you'ld like to see your bishie do) of your favorite bishie.

Can you guess the judges? Heheheh! - Ja!


	7. Talent Time Show

Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest  
  
By Anime no Miko  
  
-----//----//----//------  
  
Disclaimer: Watsuki-sensei and fellows own it. So? AnM owns the first Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest, ne? ^-^  
  
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~  
  
-- Talent Time Show / Part 0 --  
  
Right after Hiko won the first contest as the Sexiest Smiling Bishie, his fans, making full use of the priviledges they were granted with the tickets they bought, held a party at expense of AnM's budget (their tickets read: Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest, Hiko Seijuro Fan, Open Bar). Not to get into details, chaos broke out. When Hiko joined his fans in the improvised party showing his winning smile, a handful of them fainted and had to be taken away by an ambulance. Shishio, followed on the trail by some of his fans who had tricked the security staff, went pyromaniac and almost set the whole stage on fire, outraged with the judges who gave him such low punctuation and dared criticize his bandages.  
  
Thinking fast, before the rest of the bishies' fans could take any further action that would burden her pocket, AnM declared the contest over, called her elite security staff and managed to 'gently' shove the frenzied fangirls out the studio. Foreseeing the revenue from the sale of tickets wouldn't cover the expenses, AnM put emergency plan A (TAB) into action, that is, not before dragging Shishio by his head bandages and locking him up in his room without dinner not paying attention either to the smirk of most of the other bishies or the pleads from judges #1 and #14. She was also tempted to do the same with Hiko for being responsible of the fangirls fainting and her having to pay for the soon to arrive bills, but she couldn't resist his smile and decided instead to take all his sake away, which was, as we all know, worse for Hiko. Finally, she went backstage and called Kenshin who was still wearing the dark blue gi.  
  
AnM: "Kenshin dear, why haven't you changed back into your pink gi?"  
  
Kenshin: "AnM-dono ... Because Battou-- I mean, because I ripped it off, and that was the only one I own. Owned."  
  
AnM: "Oh. That is it? Silly Kenshin. Remember I had the tailor take all of you measurements the other day? Well, go to the dressing room and look inside the closet. There are plenty of gi, and a handful are pink."  
  
Kenshin: "Iie. AnM-dono, I couldn't--"  
  
AnM: "Just GO, Kenshin."  
  
So sweet innocent Kenshin (not a hint of Ken-battou mode) went to the dressing room and changed clothes while AnM, a sly grin creeping upon her face, grabbed a professional camera and entered the room through a secret passage. Ah yeah, she also drooled the whole time.  
  
~ Ten minutes later ~  
  
AnM got down cloud ninth feeing a little bit dizzy. How could she have known Kenshin would change his hakama too? Oh well, nevermind. She was going to make a great business out of this. No doubt about it. She called the photographic staff, which for purposes that need no explanation consisted only of men, no women nor gays: no danger for the bishies, and gave them the film.  
  
AnM: "I want them for tomorrow, first hour. Understood?"  
  
Photo's /straight/ guy: "Deadline understood, AnM. What size and output medium?"  
  
AnM: "This is plan A into action, Yamato."  
  
Yamato: "Plan A? Ah, money shortrage plan Take Advantage of the Bishies. Size and medium understood, Miss. We would start right away, but a check is needed to pay for the materials."  
  
AnM: "Get them in credit."  
  
Yamato: "Alright."  
  
AnM: "Yamato."  
  
Yamato: "Hai, AnM?"  
  
AnM: "Have a real life size poster made for me. Phramed, please."  
  
Yamato: *rolls eyes* "Got it."  
  
AnM felt bad for using Kenshin like this, but just a little. The contest had to go on, no matter what. On the next morning AnM called the press and arranged a meeting with them for an interview so to give an explanation on yesterday's incident and informed about the new schedule for the contest. But before leaving to take care of the business (making propaganda, though not much would be needed, and selling Kenshin pics), she summoned the bishies and had a talk with them.  
  
.~*~. Meeting Room .~*~.  
  
AnM: "Alright guys, the next contest is the talent time show. Wipe those cocky smiles off your handsome faces, guys. Displays of swordfighting techniques, bare hands fightings or any type of fighting is not permitted. Understood?"  
  
The bishies groaned in protest but nodded quickly when AnM raised an eyebrow theateningly.  
  
AnM: "Very well. Now put your swords in this bag, please."  
  
Bishies with swords: "Nani?!"  
  
AnM: "Look, it's just in case someone forgets. I'll return them when the contest is over, alright? Now place your swords in this bag, please."  
  
They held their swords closer, as if their lives depended on it. AnM looked at them and sighed.  
  
AnM: "C'mon, guys. Be reasonable like Aoshi, he didn't object and I already took his kodachis."  
  
They sent death glares at Aoshi, who was calmly sipping his tea and didn'ts even bother to look back at them, and looked at AnM hesitantly. AnM sighed again, took a deep breath and started off with her cheap, yet effective psychology. It went something like this:  
  
"Okita dear, with all your coughing you are better off carrying a load of handkerchiefs and your medicine in hands rather than that rusty sword. Enishi, you don't want to see your oneesan mad. Now, do you? Good boy. Hiko, are you sake-thirsty? We can trade. Here you have. Yes Saitou, I'm confiscating your swords. But I have the right to do so, ne? That's what I thought. Shougo, are you aware the Pope added an eleventh commandment? It goes on like 'Thou shalt not carry a sword, gun, knife or any other potentially harmful weapon.' Said it was capital sin not to follow it. Calm down, Shougo. We know you didn't know. No, I'm not telling the Pope. Hmm ... You haven't given me your sword, Shishio? Put it here now, or no more clean bandages for you! Shouzo, my captain, that sword of yours is in worse state than Okita's, besides you won't be able to brandish a stick with your gorgeous head constantly threatening to tumble on the floor. Hold it still, the doc is coming. Yahiko, Yutaro, put those in the bag, NOW. Kenshin, dearest, I'll take care of your sobakasu personally, promised. C'mon, Kenshin? Kenshin, let go of it!! I said give it to me!!! *breathing heavily* Now, Sou-chan, I guess you are not carrying your nihontou. What, you do? Oh my! Just put it here, OK? It's part of the process. Oh, and Shozo, Sanosuke, I don't want to see any punching or kicking around ."  
  
Finally, she explained them the contest ...  
  
AnM: "Very well. Now, first, as I already said, the next contest is a talent time contest with no swordfighting or bare-hand fighting permitted. Performances allowed, and preferred, are singing, dancing, playing instruments, reciting poems, and the like. Second, for this you may get together in groups up to five members or perform alone. Any questions so far?"  
  
Saitou: "Are there any rules or restrictions to form the groups besides the number of members?"  
  
Yahiko and Yutaro: "AnM, can we participate in this?"  
  
AnM: "Iie, Saitou. No restrictions, no rules. You may make group with friends or enemies, or with yourselves, I don't mind. Hmm.. Yahiko and Yutaro, you can participate, but only in different groups, and that is, if the guys here are forming any groups."  
  
Tsunan: "AnM, I don't think any of these men, including me, know how to sing or dance. What kind of song and dance are you referring to ayways?"  
  
AnM: "Good question, Tsunan. What kind of song and dance you ask? Any kind. If you guys want to sing a baby's song or dance tango in pairs, I don't mind. However, I do suggest you use the brains and be a little imaginative in the performance you choose to do. Needless to say is that you'll be graded upon it by a female jury and audience, so give your best. As much as I would like to, I can't stay to help any of you out. I've got to leave on business now. Ah, for those interested, I'm leaving some videos that might help you decide. If you happen to need any instrument or the like, just call the Audio and Video Staff. Ja-ne, guys! Ah yeah ... the contest is in two days."  
  
AnM left the room dragging a bag, the jingling of metals snapping the bishies out of their paralytic state.  
  
Bishies: "What? Two days?!"  
  
Each of them grabbed a couple of videotapes and retired to their rooms to watch them attentively (Yup, they learned how to use our everyday technological devices! ^-^). About three hours or so later, they had listened from classic music and romantic ballads to pop and rock, watched from salsa and merengue dance to lights and break dance; in short, the bishies were music and dance cultured, and ready to form their groups and practice the performances.  
  
~ Two days later ~  
  
AnM had sold all of Kenshin pics and the tickets (without open bar, or open anything) for the Talent Time Show Contest, and two bands, two duets and a solo were ready to shake up the stage!  
  
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~  
  
Hi Minna! It has been a while, ne? Blame viruses, homework, writer's blocks, drawing and painting ... no wait, I like these two ... err.. anyways, who cares now! Anime no Miko is oficially back!! ^-^ Hurrayy!! More chapters. More contests! And yes, more bishies!!!! Everything courtesy of the almighty Anime no Miko! ^-^  
  
Bet you can't figure out the two bands, two duets and the solo. Not even if your life depends on it! *evil grin* 


	8. TTS 1 You can show me your heart, Aoshi

**Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest**

By Anime no Miko

-----//----//----//------

Disclaimer:  Yup, Watsuki-sensei and fellows still own it.  But hey!  AnM (which implies all of you too ^-^) own the first Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest!!  Now, isn't that great?!

Songs and lyrics are property of their respective owners.

~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ 

BEWARE (and bear up)

For this contest involves audio and visual artistic performances not so easily represented or described in words, it'ld be of great aid that your imagination is freed and at its peak when reading this chapter.  Not a must though.  Yours truly.

-- _Talent Time Show_ / Part 1 --

A bustling backstage.  (male) Gofers rushing.  Made-for-drooling Bishies Playing (instruments).  Last rehearsal Humming.  Helpless Offbeating (music).  Pervase Remarking.  Loud Cursing. Interceding redhead.  Unexpected Smacking.  Instantaneous Oro-ing.  Inherent Smirking.  Calm Sipping.  Evil laughing.  Silly Smiling.  Minor Sweat-dropping.  Major Eyes-Rolling.

A marvelous high-futuristic-technology equipped stage.  Frantic audience screaming.  Already drooling.  Security staff sweating.  Eager readers awaiting.  Obviously reading (this, of course).

The studio is overcrowed.  Not even the Oscars or Grammys or any other ordinary event has ever been receptaculum for such a large audience.  The mercury rises at astounishing rate.  Believe it or not, IT IS HOT in here!!  

And, appearing magically, with perfect timing for all of you, the almighty Anime no Miko on stage, ready to present our beloved bishies in this _Talent Time Show_!!  (AN:  You are supposed to applaud here ^_^ )  

Suspense is in the air ...

.~*~. On stage .~*~.

Anime no Miko walks in amidst the ovation from the audience, microphone in hand (No, AnM didn't want a mini mic.  It feels good to be clutching something.  The ol' way here.  Plus it can be conveniently used as a smacking device, ne?), smiles satisfied, and takes a deep breath.

AnM:  "Good night, ladies-" *notices some _weird_ members of the male population in first row, frowns a little, then shrugs* "-ladies and _gentlemen_!!!  Be all welcomed to the second sub-contest in the first and only Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest!  (you clap here)  I'm your host, and honored to be it, the almighty Anime no Miko, but for you and _just_ for you, AnM-sama would do! (AN:  j/k here ^-^;;)  We all know, and _they_ (the bishies) know, what we are here for, so let us save precious time and get down to drool-- I mean business!  But first of all, let's welcome our dear judges!!" 

The judges, all dressed in evening gowns and wearing a mask, come out the flanks down stage, #1 to #7 from the right and #8 to #13 from the left, and take their respective places in the preset panel, in the first row.  Audience does not erupt in crazy ovation or vulgar booing; instead, they behave properly and applaud with courtesy, much to the host's relief.  AnM addresses the judges and compliments their appearance for the night show, giving final thanks, which in the convenient world of business, signifies easy, cheap and effective propaganda, to the exclusive boutiques that provided the dresses and accesories for the thirteen judges.

AnM:  "Some of you may be wondering why the judges are sitting down there in tonight's contest, and furthermore, why they are wearing masks at all.  And no, we are not having a masquerade ball.  These ladies *pointing to the judges* will watch the bishies performance from there and through those masks so that their identities remain concealed to the bishies, because I have personally adviced the bishies to perform for them, to sing for them, to dance for them ... to impress them and win their votes!

"Yes, they will have to get as most individual votes as possible out of the base thirteen from the judges here and the rest, if any, from a special jury (AN:  I do believe you are aware I'm referring to you! ^-^) that will vote online.  In short, the one (solo, duet or band) with more votes wins!  And each vote is worth ten points, plus a bonus of one hundred points for the winner and fifty more for the first runner-up.  

"Alright, enough blabberring for today!  Without more preambles, let's give a warm applause to our first participants, the most sexy and unusual duet ever, conformed by *suspense music here* everyone's favorite tea-lover with incredibly cool and sexy ice blue eyes, Shinomori Aoshi interpreting Backstreet Boys' _Shape of My Heart_!!!"

_Warrior's Blue_, Aoshi's theme, starts playing.  The fanatics go crazy as Aoshi walks in, dressed in an impeccable black suit, hands tucked inside the pockets of his newest acquisition, a pure leather black trenchcoat!  

A big screen, the size of two thirds the stage, is lowered down, and a videoclip starts playing on the screen.  Copyrighted the Onniwabanshu?  What the hell?!

/// Special Notes ...  [...] denotes part of the videoclip, and _italic_ denotes singing ////

The music of the song starts playing ... 

[Aoshi, age 15, is named Okashira of the Onniwabanshu and vows to take care of Misao forever.  To don't let her be hurt.  Never.  To protect her forever and ever ...]

Audience watches attently.  Judges stare at #5 and she blinks, completely clueless on what's going on, as the rest.  (except for me, lol!)

[Misao-chan slips while attempting a kick during her kempo practice and falls into Aoshi's lap.  She looks up, huge esmerald orbs, and laughs a little ashamed.  He looks down at her, warm blue eyes, and slightly smiles a real, _sexy_ (Ooops!  Just where did that come from?!) smile.]

Aoshi sits down and lifts up the cover on the keys.  As he bends down his head, long bangs swing forward, blue eyes concealed.

[Time passes and one tragic night, five shadows leave the Aoiya.  One seeks a title, the others follow their leader.  Morning comes and a girl awakes crying as she finds a piece of her heart missing.  Two souls meant to be one, torn apart.]

A tear falls down #5's cheek, as memories are revived.

[Four Onniwabanshu fall dead to save their leader.  A mourning heart is sealed and a troubled man, left blind.  A complete stranger, he comes back only to have her witness his bloody betrayal.  Tears fall down and like fragile crystals break as he turns his back and leaves her again.  Hurt.  Two souls torn apart for second time.]

Popcorn and soft-drink sellers are making quite a business (for AnM, of course).  This is better than the movies!

[She embarks herself on the journey to find him.  On the almost impossible quest to bring back the man he was before.  The real Aoshi behind the cold emotionless mask.  The one who loved and was loved.]

Aoshi runs his long fingers along the keys on the shinning tail piano.  The volume of the background music is gradually lowered as Aoshi starts playing the piano.  He sings with husky, sexy voice ...

_"Baby, please try to forgive me,   
Stay here, don't put out the glow."_

[Misao is promised to have Aoshi safe and back.  Aoshi is told how all of her tears are for his cause.  How much pain he has done to her yet he represents her happiness.  What she cries for.  What she loves.  And that she waits for him to return.]

_"Hold me now,   
Don't bother,   
If every second it makes me weaker,  
You can save me from the man that I become,  
oh yeah,"_

Aoshi stops playing the piano, which he has been doing marvelously so far, and stands up.  Meanwhile the music continues and he sings along.

["Welcome home," Misao says sincerely.  She is beautiful and happy to ... see him?  Aoshi stands there saying nothing, absorbing the vision of her.  He so much wanted to ... embrace her?  "Don't move, I'll go fetch the doctor," she says.  "I'm ok, Misao," he manages to utter.  "You're not.  Now you'd better be here when I come back."  _I'm not going anywhere, Misao.  Not again._]     __

_"Looking back on the things I've done,  
I was trying to be someone,  
Who played my part,"_

[He spends all day in the temple, consacrated meditation.  She brings him tea everyday, wanting to be near him.  Trying to catch his attention, while he shuts himself from the world.]

_"Kept you in the dark,  
Now let me show you the shape of my heart."_

Aoshi walks forward with that calm, elegant pace.  He walks down the stairs singing, looking from the audience to the judges with those sexy, trademark ice blue eyes of his, until he rests his eyes on certain judge #5 who inmediately finds herself frozen under his gaze.  

_"Sadness is beautiful,  
Loneliness is tragical  
So heal me,  
I can't win this war,  
Touch me now,   
Don't bother,   
If every second it makes me weaker,   
You can save me from the man I've become."_

He holds out a hand and she reluctantly takes it.  Aoshi's large fanclub in the audience helps out with the chorus.  Leading her onto stage, he sings with more emotion than ever ...

_"I'm here with my confession,  
Got nothing to hide no more,  
I don't know where to start,  
But to show you the shape of my heart. _

_I'm looking back on things I've done,   
I never want to play the same ol' part,   
Or keep you in the dark,  
Now let me show you the shape of my heart."_

What the hell?  Ex-BSBS, Brian, Nick, Howie, A-J, and Kevin, appear out of the blue and sing the chorus for the couple!!!****

Aoshi:  *almost whispering*  _"Show you the shape of my heart...."_

A tear rolls down her rosy cheek and he leans forward wipping it off ... with a kiss.  She trembles under the touch ... Oh boy, ice is melting!

#5:  "Aoshi-sa---"

///// Commercial break /////__

AnM:  "Who would have tell Aoshi could be so romantic, ne?  I don't know you, but I do want Aoshi to show me the shape of his heart (Me2:  ... and many, many other things, right?)!  And guys, *turning to the bishies, who were about to tease Aoshi* leave him alone 'cause this time he needs the meditation for real.  What a change!

"Quiet, people.  We've just getting start (yeah, what a start!)!!  Take a deep breath and prepare yourselves, 'cause her come .......... 

~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ 

Special thanks and freshly home-made bishies cookies for all of you people!  And one of the drooling-assured Kenshin photos I wisely saved, to Lady A (I'm having the songs downloaded)Shuro, Xime (I ain't writing THAT name cause we all know, and you perfectly know by now, ne?, how much AnM dislikes her.), White Plum (Oww!  So nice of you!  *jumps around happily* I'm still considered almighty!  Hurrahhh!), and Hotaru Yukishiro Tomoe Kamiya for the help with the writer's block for this sub contest!

Minna, you are the best!  Keep R & R please, and for _Mr Rurouni Kenshin Contest'_ssake, DO **leave your vote **for their performance! (I know, I know ... You can't vote 'cause the rest of the bishies haven't performed ... I'm on it, really!)  Ja! ^-^

Notes:  I will be "updating" (not real changes, just making the fic appear in the first two display pages for RK fics) this chapter constantly so that everybody gets to read it (I'm doing this because I certainly do not check further than the first two pages and do think many other do the same, ne?) and vote (through a review, or e-mail or some other medium) for their favorite performance and bishie so a winner can be chosen.  Please bear with AnM.


	9. TTS 2 The most unlikely duet

**Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest**

By Anime no Miko

-----//----//----//------

Who cares about disclaimers or warnings?  (Not mine ^-^U) On with the contest!

-- _Talent Time Show_ / Part 2 --

AnM:  " ... here comes everyone's favorite roosterhead Sagara Sanosuke in a duet with *blinks* ... ugh, what?  I think there's a mistake ... *reads and blinks again* ... ugh, no, it's positive ... Sano in a duet with the cool psycho cop Saitou Hajime!!!!!!!!!!"

Audience stares in disbelief.  Judges are speechless.  Readers are ??  (How can I know?  I'm not ubiquitous!  At least not yet.  *sobs*  I want ESP!)  AnM laughs nervously and hurriedly signals the director to run the respective soundtrack, which he promptly does.  

AnM:  *trying again, clears throat*  "With you ladies and gentlemen, Sanosuke and Saitouuuu!!!"  

A remix of Sanosuke's theme _Run To You_ and Saitou's theme _Revived Wolf_ starts playing and the guys come out.  Sano wears dark vinyl pants and a white unbuttoned shirt, yes, you guessed right, with the kanji for "aku" on the back, and Saitou a black tee shirt, dark blue slacks, and a matching jacket.   Yea, you're right again, the latter is smoking a cigarette.  Fans do their fan-thingy (screaming all euphorically, drooling, you know...).

AnM:  *eyeing Saitou and Sano strangely*  "So guys, what do you have for us tonight?"

Saitou:  "That's what you'll see soon."

AnM:  "Oh ... " *turning to Sano*

Sano:  "Ah yeah, we're singing one by some Lost guys.  Hey Saitou, what's their names?  *scratches head*

Anime no Miko sweat drops.

Saitou:  "...moron."

AnM:  "Hehe!   Lost guys?  Perhaps The Lost Prophets?  Anyhow, go on guys!"

Saitou:  "Before anything, let's get something clear."

AnM:  "What's it, Saitou?"

Saitou:  "Me and this moron getting together in a duet couldn't be helped."

AnM:  *raises one eyebrow at Saitou*  "Hum?"

Saitou:  "Unfortunately when I asked, everybody else had a partner or group already."  *sighs*

Flashback

Saitou has come up with a great ("great defined in Saitou's dictionary of life) performance, but needed a partner for it.  Yes.  The Lone Wolf of Mibu was actually going to pair up with another bishie.  But who?

Saitou:  "Let's go, Okita.  I've got the perfect performance."

Okita:  "Gomen ne, Saitou.  Someone already asked me and I said yes.  I would go with you but I've got to stick to my word.  Sorry, you know how it works."

Saitou:  ("Dammit!"  Oh well, there's always battousai.  Might as well use him for my purposes again.")  "I understand, Okita."  *to Kenshin*  "Hey KENSHIN, I've got the winning performance for us."

Kenshin:  "I'm not battousai anymore, Saitou.  Oro??  You called me Kenshin!"

Saitou:  "I guess I did."

Kenshin:  *smiles*  "I'm glad, you finally understood.  Performance for us you said?  Gomen, Saitou, I've already got one.  Gomen nasai."

Saitou:  "Save it, BATTOUSAI!"  *leaves a Kenshin with a twitching eye, and walks toward Aoshi.*  "Shinomori, performing alone?"

Aoshi:  "Aaa."

Saitou:  "I wonder why this does not surprise me ... That icicle! "

Shishio:  *appears behind Saitou*  "Having a hard time finding a partner, eh Saitou?  I'll give you the opportunity to join me."

Saitou:  "It'ld be my pleasure."  

Shishio smiles.

Saitou:  "When I die, that is.  Too bad I don't think that is likely to happen any soon."  *smirks*

Shishio:  *glares, then laughs cynically*  "You'll regret this, Saitou.  Oh, I can't wait.  Just how much fun I'll have!"

Saitou:  *glaring back, but not losing composure*  "Just what did you mean?"

~ five minutes later ~

Saitou has asked everybody without success.  Everybody excluding Sano, that is.  That roosterhead was definitely the last person he was going to pair up with, including the unfatigable smiling boy and the mentally unstable oneesan-attached white haired.  As for Sano, he was left out of the groups too.  Even Kenshin or Shouzo couldn't do anything for him.  And he was certainly not prepared to perform alone for he had no idea of what to do.  Saitou wouldn't ask him, or would he?

Sano:  "So, Saitou ... Looking for a partner, eh?"

Saitou:  "Even a blind can tell.  Oh wait, your case is worse than that."  *smirks*  ("That we'll be in a duet does not imply I have to be nice to that stupid roosterhead.")

End of Flashback

AnM:  "Is that so?"

Saitou nods.

Sano:  "Why you!  You damned *beep* egotistic *beep* bastard!  I didn't beg you!" *clenches fists* 

Saitou smirks.  Sano fumes.  AnM shakes head.  Kenshin is tempted to come out and intercede, and he is about to when someone pulls him back by the collar.

AnM:  *sighs* "C'mon, guys.  Everyone's waiting."

Saitou: *to Sano*  "For the hundreth time, try to remember your part, will you?"

Sano:  *glares*  "I know my part perfectly!"

Saitou:  "Whatever."

Both guys walk to the center of the stage, where a circular platform with two microphones and two electric guitars rises from the floor elevating them about five feets high.  Oh wait a second, it isn't an ordinary platform!  It is a free-movement swivel platform sealed with all the futuristic techonolgy!  Poor AnM wondering how much it costed.  It ought to be that Saitou!

/// Special Notes ... _italic_ denotes singing, minor adaptations (not intended to harm) are inside paranthesis. ///

As the music starts playing, Saitou grabs his black guitar and removes his immaculate white gloves (you know, the way he does in one of the ED videoclips  *drools* so cool!).  Sano grabs his shiny red guitar as well, and caresses it whispering something to it?

Sano:  *whispers*  "C'mon baby, we can do it."

Saitou:  *to Sano*  "You'd better don't spoil it this time."  

The judges are impatient for the duet to begin, and so is the audience.  AnM is just staring eyes wide at the exhorbitant purchase receipts for the guitars one of the assistants handed her two minutes ago.

Saitou strums the cords on his guitar softly, as if tunning it; "af if" because he has already done so, unlike certain roosterhead next to him having some trouble with the instrument.  They start singing with husky, strong voice.  And oh kami, with what emotion in the words!

Saitou:  

_Somebody told me that I'd always have to bow  (like hell I'll ever bow! *glares*)  
If that was true I would have fallen apart by now  (but not even Battousai could get the Mibu Wolf down)   
The more you think, the less you act their way  (unless you wanna end their way / DEAD, all wrecked up!  *smirks*)  
So can you hear this, the fake sound of progress  (listen up, It's ME who's telling you)_

_Never reason with a fool (those are bound to doom) but is that unkind (feeling's banned)  
Looks like I've lost my mind once again  (playing with this moron side by side)  
I know it all sounds so contrived (you ought to be kidding), but it's got to me  
You know I've got to be more than this  (for good you'd better now)  
Don't frown, don't scorn (I don't care anyhow) 'cause I walk a different (path) than you  
You look so (pathetically) worn, I bet that life has got you blown (weak, that is you)  
But it will never get to me  (NEVER to the Mibu Wolf)  
  
_

Sano:    
_(You) told me that I'd always have to (be nice)  (I'm trying but it's not my style)  
If that was true (you being a saint) (why I got slapped on the cheek?)  
The more (I) think, the less (I want to) act (your) way  (where was your god the day I hold you dead in my arms?)  
So can you (answer me), the fake sound of progress  (I cried the hell outta me!)  
  
_

_And I (felt) the way you held, held (onto) me  
Chances that I've missed (now I'm getting all sappy), (you're) gone (she won't love me)  
Apathy is all I sense, the feeling's too intense (eating me from inside)  
Sitting on the (roof) (munching my lil' fishy bone), can't decide  
(Even if you're dead) Don't frown, don't cry, (Baby, it tears up my heart)  
(I) look so worn (pestered with evil words), I bet (you can't hold back your tongue)  
(Now you) will never get to me (Woman, you missed the chance with me)  
  
_

Saitou and Sanosuke:__

_Somebody told me that I'd always have to bow  (those won't live long)  
If that was true I would have fallen apart by now (I'll NEVER fall)  
The more you think, the less you act their way  
So can you hear this, the fake sound of progress (my true power)  
  
_

Saitou:

_(Save) all (your) words, that (won't buy a wolf), (take your money, get a dog like you)  
Always charged (Aku Soku Zan),  (my Gatotsu makes its way)  
Tell me now, can you hear the sound  
Of all these people falling down  (I can see you there)  
Growing back into the ground, (I'll smirk at you) again...  
  
_

Sano:

_Tell me now can you hear the sound,   
Of the (truth) spinning round and round,   
For on and on it sounds like the same old song, (the one you hate) that I keep singing,   
It sounds like (I'm fed up with you)  
  
_

Saitou and Sanosuke:

_Somebody told me that I'd always have to bow  (those won't live long)  
If that was true I would have fallen apart by now (I'll NEVER fall)  
The more you think, the less you act their way  
So can you hear this, the fake sound of progress (my true power)  
Make me smirk/smile again ..._

Ovation from the audience.  They really liked it even though Saitou and Sano's performance was the complete opposite of Aoshi's explicit romantic theme.

AnM:  "Wonderful, guys!  Who would have imagined you've got that talent with the guitar, which were, by the way, too expensive for our resources.  Thanks kami I called the store and they said the guitars can be returned."

Just as AnM was saying this, Sano aimed a fist at the air to complying with a fangirl's request.  The Sanosuke Fan Club wanted to take some quality snapshots of Sanosuke.  CRASH!  The ASHES of the once recognizable pretty red NEW brand electric guitar are pulled toward the floor by gravity, hitting the floor with a loud thump.  No, wait, that was AnM's jaw!  Time stops.  Nobody utters a sound.  After what seems an eternity, Sano breaks the ice with one of his famous bright comments.

Sano:  "Hahahaa!  I'm getting still better with this Futae no Kiwami!"

AnM:  "SANOSUKE!!!!!!!"  *growls, runs after a visibly scared Sano*

Sano:  "OOPS!  Kuso!  Time to run!"  *runs as far away from AnM as his long legs permits*

Saitou:  "Why did I ever get stucked with this moron?"  *shaked head*  "Oh well, at least it's over."

AnM:  "Sou-chan!  Sou-chan!  Come here, help me!  Let's use your shukuchi thing!  *grabs Sou-chan by the collar*  You're dead, Sanosuke!  I'll leave you stripped naked in the middle of thousands of crazy fans and put your clothes in auction!"  

Sano:  "What are you laughing at, you bastard.  (*to Saitou*)  Someone help me!!  Captain Sagara!  Kenshin!  AHHH!"

Audience rolls on the floor laughing.  Judges #3 mutters a 'baka,' and the others giggle.  Ah yes, #5 is still wondering why Aoshi didn't kiss her once and for all.

~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ 

Thanks everyone for the suggestions!  Minna, you are the best!  Keep R & R please, and for _Mr Rurouni Kenshin Contest'_ssake, DO **leave your vote **for their performance! (I know, I know ... You can't vote 'cause the rest of the bishies haven't performed ... I'm on it, really!  Yeah, I know that too.  I'm slow updating. *sighs*)

Notes:  I will be "updating" (not real changes, just making the fic appear in the first two display pages for RK fics) this chapter constantly so that everybody gets to read it (I'm doing this because I certainly do not check further than the first two pages and do think many other do the same, ne?) and vote (through a review, or e-mail or some other medium) for their favorite performance and bishie so a winner can be chosen.  Please bear with AnM. ^-^


	10. TTS 3 The exclusivity of S3

**Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest**

By Anime no Miko

-----//----//----//------

Watsuki-sama:  "Say the disclaimer or I'll sue you!"

AnM:  "Nani?  Demo Watsuki-sensei, you've enjoyed lots of fame already.  Grant me fifteen-minutes of fame."

Watsuki-sama:  "I worked hard for it.  Or did you think it's actually easy for a man (a straight one, 'cause I am straight, and if you dare doubt it, Kenshin will be more than obliged to Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki on you!) to come up with so many bishies, as you call them?"

AnM:  "Oh, c'mon!  Please?"

Watsuki-sama:  "No is NO."

AnM:  "Pretty please?"  *starts craving*

Aoshi:  *rubs temples*  "STOP IT, WILL YA?!  I've had enough!  Rurouni Kenshin is NOT property of AnM!"  *shakes head*  _"Oh kami, I'm going out of character again ..."_

~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ 

-- _Talent Time Show_ / Part 3 --

With Sou-chan's Shukuchi AnM got hold of Sanosuke easily.  Poor Sano.  Neither Shouzo or Kenshin were allowed to help, and the others, well either they were too busy preparing for their performance or they didn't care at all, and we all know who topped that last list.  

So that accounted for the noticeable empty space left after Sano's fans left following him to the music instruments store where our roosterhead would have to pay for the luxurious broken guitar by means of his attributes, whatever these are.  However, to AnM's relief, the vacant area was almost intanstaneous filled by hundreds of the remaining's bishies' fans.  And so Sanosuke's ordeal was soon forgotten by all, specially when AnM introduced the first band ready to perform.

AnM:  " ... with you, our first band ... !"

Souzou, Shougo, Shozo (A/N:  What a tongue twister, ne?) come out dressing uniformly with white satin shirts with flowing sleeves (surprisingly) buttoned only halfway up and black slacks plus their trademark accesory:  a red headband for Souzou, a golden metal headband for Shougo, and a yellow bandana for Shozo.  In overall, the three were well groomed, well dressed and very well made to die for!

AnM:  "... Souzou, Shougo and Shozo.  Let's welcome S3!!" (pronounced "striptez" XD)

Audience goes frantic with eagerness for they think AnM actually said "striptease."  Wait, she did say "striptease."  (audience:  "Yes, she did.")  Now, did she really mean it?  An striptease performance starring Souzou, Shougo and Shozo above all???  Nah!  Must have been a mistake  (AnM:  "Yes, a mistake.  An intentional mistake! Muahaha!  I'm sooo evil!  Not really, that is coming soon.).  Audience does not seem to get that through their striptease clouded minds though, so they keep asking for the show, and this gets our three bishies visibly doubtful on going on with any performance.

AnM:  "Now girls ... Oopps!  Gome nasai!  Girls AND boys, I meant."  *winces*  "As I was saying, either you control your er.. yourselves or these three MEN will leave the stage.  Oh no ... not mine, it was their saying.  I'm blameless."

Upon this threat, the fandom quietens gradually and applauds fervently urging the bishies to perform.  AnM motions them and S3 takes the stage, still a little cautiously.  The lights are turned off and the guys, each with a mic on hand, take their respective places on stage.  

Light illuminates Souzou's spot and he can be seen lifting his head and bringing a well known leave to his lips.  The exquisite melody that flows easily captivates the audience and jury, who look on Souzou marveled.  He starts singing slowly.

Souzou:  

_Blindfolded I dreamt of an_

_Utopia in the middle of chaos_

_Fighting hand in hand_

_I keep with me the pure souls_

_Coz I wanna see them grow_

The first light is reduced to a dim light and a second light falls on the stage, this time on Shougo, who looks up and starts singing in a deep, soft voice.

Shougo:

_How can my soul bear all the pain_

_If no one's by my side_

_How can their hearts room all that hate_

_I will fight to hear your voice_

_Coz I wanna know_

A third light falls over Shozo as the second one turns into a dim light joining the first.  Shozo 

takes over where Souzou left, singing with clarity and emotion.  

Shozo:  

_For those you love_

_Sacrifice comes peacefully_

_When passion does more_

_I give it all for a last smile_

_Coz I wanna feel that warm glow_

The three lights merge into one falling over the three figures.  

Shougo, Shozo, Souzou:  

_And then I wonder if it wasn't a lie_

_When my world collapsed I wanted to cry_

_My heart ached but I held the tears back_

_And now I wonder if I am right_

_Coz my heart cries every night_

Shougo, Shozo, Souzou:  

_And then I wondered if it wasn't a lie_

_When my world collapsed I wanted to cry_

_My heart ached but I held the tears back_

_And now I wonder if I am right_

Shougo:  _Coz I wanna know_

Souzou:  _Coz I wanna see them grow_

Shozo:  _Coz I wanna feel that warm glow _

Shougo, Shozo, Souzou:  

_Coz my heart needs to understand (ah ah aa)_

The last musical note ends and the reaction is still to be given.  S3's song approach was considerably different from Aoshi's or Sano and Saitou's.  Yeah, it was a rather sad song.  The S3 fandom throws roses and erupts in a warmth wave of applause for the guys.  AnM and the rest of the audience and jury join in the effusive response.

AnM:  *wipes away few tears*  "Sniff, that was nice guys, really nice.  Sad but nice, really touching I'ld have to say."

S3:  "Arigatou AnM!"

AnM:  "They love you!"

S3:  "Arigatou gozaimasu!"  *smile and bow at public*

After some minutes that lasted the applauses and continued the drooling and stuff, AnM is able to make S3 a little interview.

AnM:  "The name S3 stands for the initials of your names and the number 3 for you three, I suppose."

Souzou:  "Hai, AnM.  It is so."

AnM:  "Whatever affected the inclusion of Sanosuke in this group then?  He's got the S alright."

Shozo:  "It was Mr. Shougo and I who first came up with the group idea, and it was originally intented to be a group of three members, so Mr. Shougo chose the best option."

Shougo:  "We asked Souzou because among the S-named (Soujiro a.k.a. freaking smiley boy, Saitou a.k.a. smirking smoking mibu and Sanosuke a.k.a. roosterhead free loader) he is the only one who keeps his head in place."

AnM:  *arches and eyebrow and motions for Souzou*  "Is he?  So it doesn't fall out anymore, eh my Captain Sagara?"  *smiles at Souzou*

Five minutes more of silly stuff followed and S3 retreated to backstage.

AnM:  "Now, ladies AND gentlemen, prepare to receive our second duet in this beautiful night, ..........!"

~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ 

Thanks everyone for the reviews!  Minna, you are the best!  Keep R & R please, and for _Mr Rurouni Kenshin Contest'_ssake, DO **leave your vote **for their performance! (I know, I know ... You can't vote 'cause the rest of the bishies haven't performed ... I'm on it, really!  Yeah, I know that too.  I'm slow updating. *sighs*).

I am aware this took LONG to update.  Gomen nasai minna-san!  *bows deeply*  (I rarely do that so feel honored ^-^).  You know, I thought of this parody/humor ficcie ... currently writing first chappie.  I assure (hopefully or at least if you have a sense of humor, no matter how weird) it'll steal more than three laughs from your side!  Keep an eye!

P.S.  Leaving already?  Did you review?  *checks reviews and finds no recent reviews*  DO review, eh?  Pls? ^-^


	11. TTS 4 The second duet or solo?

**Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest**

By Anime no Miko

-----//----//----//------

Insert-name-here:  "AnM."

AnM:  "Yes?"

Insert-name-here:  "This is getting boring.  When is this talent contest going to end?"

AnM:  "Grrr!!  What did you say???"

Insert-name-here:  "I said:  When is the TTS going to end?"

AnM:  "Not that part.  You said something about this fic getting --"

Insert-name-here:  "Really interesting!!!!!"

AnM:  "Hn."  (Hiei's little catchy phrase is on me now!)

**Warning: ** Mixed angst and _WAFF and AnM's second excuse for song lyrics ahead.  Proceed on you own risk.  (Hey!  Where do you think you are going?!)_

~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ 

-- _Talent Time Show_ / Part 4 --

AnM:  "... Soujiro and Okita!!"

Fangirls go "We love the Tenken,"  "Okita is a cutie,"  "Sou-chan, Sou-chan, 'rah 'rah 'rah!,"  "Okita is the best.  We love you!," and so forth.  Banners with a great variety of phrases and love emoticons are stretched open.  Okita and Soujiro fans have taken possesion of the whole studio!  

At last two brown-haired fair young men walk forward, smile and bow politely.  This, particulary that never faulting smile, prompts a series of sighs, daydream looks, butterflies in the stomach and what not.  Light is focused on the pair giving everyone a better appreciation of their outfit.  It reveals them wearing ... *drums here*  ... AnM blinks, audience goes eyes wide.  Soujiro is wearing his usual white collared shirt, light blue gi and blue hakama and Okita is wearing the Shisengumi kimono!  No fancy garments, everything very traditional ... traditionally their own style.  And the drooling starts!

AnM:  "Don't you love them?  

Soujiro:  "Err.. hai, but they are ...

Okita:  "... er .. a bit ..."

AnM:  "Yes?"

Okita and Soujiro:  "... s-c-a-r-y!"

AnM:  "Oh."

Okita:  "Especially that girl."  *points to one of the thousands of fangirls in the audience*  "Uh, wait, she's coming.  One, two ... She knocked down the security guys.  Uh, she's strong."  *steps back*  "I say, we'd better go backstage now.  Soujiro?  Soujiro, pal?"

Soujiro:  "Ri-right .. he-here."

Okita turns and finds AnM glomping Soujiro like there's no tomorrow.  Yes, she is choking him.  At this sight, the Captain of the First Troop of the Shisengumi falls back anime-style on the ... arms of certain Okita-obssesed girl, April-san, who has by now already reached the stage!  Now there isn't just one cutie being choked but two!  Aw!  Poor bishies!

Soujiro:  "A-no, AnM ... I can't ..breathe."

AnM:  "Oops!"  *unlatches herself a lil, just a little!*  "Gomen ne, Sou-chan."  *smiles and turns to the audience*  "Girls, I have tried it myself, and so have April-san.  There's no mistake.  These two are TOTALLY huggable!!!!!"

The bishies in the backstage sweatdrops.  The jury starts gossiping.  But the fandom is made angry with this statement.  They don't think it's fair that a particular fangirl gets to hug her favorite bishie while the rest have to content themselves staring.  This fangirl yells back at them inciting them to go ahead knock down the security gorillas if they so want to hug *her* Okita.  They growl in response and as always, AnM'd better intervene.  

She promptly releases Soujiro and excuses herself alluding it's easy to be carried away with such a cute bishie near.  Sou-chan inquires of AnM who is she talking about and receives a "You are the bishie, baka!"  from certain genki judge #5.  While all of this happens, April-san remains perfectly glued to Okita.  

AnM:  *whispers to her*  "C'mon, April-san.  Let go of Okita.  He needs to do his performance, remember?"

April-san shakes her head stubbornly, refusing to let go and not in the least disquieted by the death threats from the bishie's fans.  Sou-chan sweatdrops and fans Okita with a handkerchief lest he faints.

AnM:  "April, if you don't release Okita in this moment, I, with the power I auto-confere myself for being AnM, will bann you for the rest of this contest,"  *stops for air*  "which means you'll be deprived of the lovely sight of Okita.  Do you understand that?  That's better.  Good girl.  I'm watching you.  OK, ladies and gentlemen, let's be quiet for the --- Hey!  April-san, let him go!"

After all parties (not only April-san and the fandom, because the jury and the bishies couldn't restrain themselves and joined in) calmed down, AnM made some notes:  _One, don't ever allow another crazy fangirl on stage (with me is enough).  Two, redouble security for the swimsuit contest and the likes.  Three, fire those incompetent guards and hire anime villians in their place.  Four, get a tylenol extra-strenght._

AnM:  "Finally, Soujiro and Okita's dual performance!"

Applause.  Cheers.  Boom, boom!  And yes, it's yet another singing performance.  But hey, who cares, ne?!

The studio is set in complete darkness for a few minutes, after which a dim light baths the stage playing on Soujiro's form while Okita's remains in shadows.  The stage has been modified and resembles a living screenshot.  The night sky and moon is played on the big screen.  In front, a presumable  Japanese house stands to the left a few rice barrels resting against one side.  Soujiro himself is standing in the center with an old sword bathed in red vicous liquid, yes, blood, in hand.  Before AnM can worry on this, the music starts ...

Soujiro: __

_So much pain _

_I couldn't take anymore_

_Under the rain of blood_

_I shed some tears_

Angst fills the atmosphere.  A sob or more is heard.  A feeling tugs at everyone's heart.  Soujiro drops to his knees and closes his eyes.  Okita picks up, a second light focusing on him  ...

He walks towards Soujiro, standing next to him, and offers his hand ...

Okita:__

_Don't cry, boy_

_I'm by your side_

_Taking your pain_

_Look, we're the same_

Soujiro stands up with Okita's help.  They stare at each other, a brotherly bond is instantly formed.

Chorus:  (multiple voiced, low-pitched)__

_Your journey ends now_

_Take my hand_

_Don't let go_

_Coz tomorrow is here_

_Waiting for us_

[Instrumental]

Scenery changes to the last years of the Edo Period when the Shisengumi banded together to protect the streets of Kyoto.

Okita:__

_Darkness surrounded me_

_When light grew dimmer_

_Blood ran down over me_

_Slowly my life faded_

Coughing, Okita is about to fall down but is pulled up by Soujiro.

Soujiro: __

_Never surrender, boy_

_Hold onto my hand_

_Together we'll find the light_

_Even walking over death_

Chorus:__

_Your journey ends now_

They stand up, side by side, looking very much alike.  Light falls completely on them as the scenery changes one last time and into a breathtaking landscape with blue sky and shiny sun.

Okita:__

_Take my hand_

Soujiro:__

_I won't let go_

Soujiro:__

_Look at me_

Okita:__

_I see myself_

Soujiro and Okita link hands.  AnM goes "Aw, how cute!"  and the rest joins her.__

Okita and Soujiro:__

_The past has gone_

Chorus:

... tomorrow is here ...

Okita and Soujiro:

Coz tomorrow is here ...__

_Waiting for us_

[Instrumental]

Soujiro and Okita:__

_Today ... remember to smile ... smile .. ah ah _

Ovation throughout the studio.  Banners are shaken wildly by the fangirls who start screaming their love out for the two bishies.  AnM notices Okita and Soujiro slowly shrink out of fear?  AnM to the rescue!

AnM:  "What a great performance, guys.  Superb musical!"

Okita and Soujiro:  "Arigatou-gozaimasu, AnM."

AnM:  "No problem.  You deserve it!  C'mon, people.  Don't you agree?"

An uproar of applause is heard, shaking the stage itself.  Wow hoa!  Okita turns impossibly white as Soujiro counts the gorilla guards that are being knocked down one by one ...  AnM looks over at the audience and spots a familiar shape making its way towards them.  

AnM:  "Oh no, not again ...!" __

~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ 

About time for me to change this foot notes, ne?  Hehehe.  Gomen!  O.K.  First of all, thanks to those who are still reviewing this fanfic, and well, those who are reading but are too lazy to click the button below, please do it!  LOL.  Nay, it's just that reviews make me happy  =^-^= !!

Second, we've got only one performance to go to choose the winner of the TTS contest!  Yay!!  Third, don't hit me for those poor lyrics.  It's not my fault that's what came to my mind.  

Ah, I almost forget, click the button below and leave me your greetings/comments/flames/dead threats/whatever!  ^_____^


	12. TTS 5 It Wasnt Kenshin!

**Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest**

By Anime no Miko

-----//----//----//------

Audience: "AnM!! Grr!  How dare you leave us sitting there for MONTHS!"

AnM: "Eh … he he …"

Audience: "WELL?!"

AnM: "Look!  Two bishies are coming now! "

**Warning: ** Song lyrics borrowed and modified.

 ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ 

-- _Talent Time Show_ / Part 5 --

Havoc broke loose after Sou-chan and Okita's duet.  Always so prompt, AnM dialed operator …

AnM: "NYPD, please.  What the hell do you mean they're in coffee and donuts break?! This is an emergency!!"

Operator:  "Calm down, miss. Geez!  I'll transfer your call."

AnM:   "Thanks!  Hello?  Yes, officer.  Please send me your biggest men.  I'm the hostess of the Mr. Rurouni Kenshin Contest and we have all the bishies and all the fandom, they are tearing down the place and … Let go off Okita, April-san!"

NYPD:  "This joke is getting old, missy.  Stop the prank calls or I'll have to call your father."

AnM:  "Hello??? Don't you--!  Hello??!!"

Yup, girls ( and guys ).  The NYPD hung the phone on AnM!!!  The almighty AnM.  The nerves!

AnM: "What the hell--?!!"

And so, she had no other option left than make her call to the anime world.  Guess who showed up?  Space Cowboy Spike Spiegel and Vash the Stampede.  Not bad, huh?  They are not big, true.  But they got the guns!

( 5 mins later )  

AnM:  "You are fired!"

It didn't work.  The crowd went even crazier,  and … wilder.  Aha!  But then Kami gave AnM the greatest idea ever.  They summoned Master Rochi and Happousai, who gladly traveled there … in a blink of the eye!  And their chasing of skirts hasn't ceased!  

But the show must go on!  

AnM: "Now, minna-san.  Let me introduce to you, Kenshin and Hiko!!!"

The slightest frown can be seen in Hiko's face.  Kenshin is clueless.  As usual.

AnM:  "What, Hiko?  Oh!  Oops.  This is … Hiko and Kenshin!!! "

Master and student are donned in … their usual outfits.  How unexpected, yet again, nothing sexier than their normal clothes, ne?  The fangirls scream, squeak, cry …  and whatnot!  Hiko takes this very professionally … professionally Hiko-ness, while poor Kenshin looks like a tomato.  

The music starts and … what is this?  Shaggy's _It Wasn't Me ?!_

[ picture the video clip ]

Kenshin:  Yo sensei.

Hiko:  Yo.   
  


Kenshin:  Open up, sensei 

Hiko:  What do you want, baka desshou?   
  


Kenshin:  They just caught me; that they did   
  


Hiko:  You let them catch you?   
  


Kenshin:  I don't know how I let this happen   
  


Hiko:  Who did?   
  


Kenshin:  Her brother, the guy with white hair, you know?

Hiko:  Baka....   
  


Kenshin:  What should I do?

Hiko:  Get rid of him   
  


Kenshin:  Nani?! 

Kenshin:  
***Her brother came in and he caught me red-handed   
Creeping on Kaoru-dono   
Picture this we were both butt-naked   
Banging on the dojo floor   
Aye, How could I forget   
that Tomoe had a little bro   
All this time he was standing there   
He never took her eyes off me 

Hiko:  
How you can grant the brother access to your villa   
Trespasser and a witness while you cling to your sword   
You better watch your back before he tells his sis   
Best for you and situation not to call the Mibu Wolf  
To be a true samurai you have to know how to fight   
If she say you're not, convince him say you're gay  ( Oro?!! )   
Never admit to a word when he say makes a claim   
And you tell Tomoe baby no way 

* chorus  

Kenshin:  But he caught me on the counter   
  


(it wasn't me)   
  


Kenshin:  Saw me banging on the sofa   
  


(it wasn't me)   
  


Kenshin:  _I even married another woman  
  
_

(it wasn't me)   
  


Kenshin:  He even caught me on black & white camera.    
  


(it wasn't me)   
  


Kenshin:  He saw the marks on my shoulder   
  


(it wasn't me)   
  


Kenshin:  Heard the words that I told her   
  


(it wasn't me)   
  


Kenshin:  Heard the screams getting louder   
  


(it wasnt' me)   
  


Kenshin:  

He stayed until it was over 

* end chorus

Her brother came in and he caught me red-handed   
Creeping on Kaoru-dono   
Picture this we were both butt-naked   
Banging on the dojo floor

I had tried to keep him from what he was about to see   
Why should she believe me when I told her it wasn't me   
  


Hiko:  

Make sure she knows it's not you and lead her on   
Da right prefix whenever you should see her make da puppy face    
As stupid as it be to me, all the girls think it is cute    
Seein is believin' so you better change your specs   
You know she gonna be worrying bout things from the past   
Hardly recollecting and then she'll go to midnight taverns   
Your answer: go over there but if she packs a dagger    
You know you better cover your face 

Repeat *chorus

Kenshin:  

Repeat***

Gonna tell Tomoe that I'm sorry for all monkey business   
I've been listenin' to your reasonin'   
It makes no sense at all   
We should tell her that I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused   
You may think that you're the smarter    
But you're completely wrong 

Repeat***   
  


Kenshin:  Her brother came in.... 

Anime no Miko's first reaction is … speechless.  A certain judge is smirking … another is fuming … and a third one is …silent.  And backstage …

Yahiko:  "Who's Tomoe, huh?  HUH?"

Sanosuke:  "Whoa for Kenshin!"

Enishi:  "How dare he .."

On stage, Kenshin is crimson red!  Hiko is well … drinking his sake down.  What about the crowd?  OMG!  They LOVED it!!! Completely!  AnM comes down to earth …

AnM:  "Whoa!  What a great adaptation!  Congratulations, Ken---… Hiko and Kenshin!  Who made the lyrics adaptation, guys?  Was it a team work?"

Kenshin looks away.  Hiko flashes his 1 billion smile.  We sigh and drool.

Hiko:  "Do you even have to ask?"

~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ 

Gomen!! I know, I know.  I'm not precisely the quick updates award winner _

BUT, I do hope you all like this new chappie!! YAY!  

AND, remember to leave me your comments! 


End file.
